He had a heart once
by Baby24-Misery
Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches. COMPLETE
1. Back in the White house

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

**Chapter 1 – Back at the White house**

Donna walked the halls of the White house having the familiar feeling in her chest. She was home, at last. She watched everyone and though faces changed, everything was the same. The rush. The excitement. The feeling of doing something worthy. Everything was the same, except of one thing. She was standing in front of the Press room door waiting to make her first conference.

"_You're not nervous, you're not nervous. Take a deep breath. You're not nervous."_ – she kept repeating the words to herself like a mantra. – _"Oh, who am I kidding. I'm terrified"._ She didn't hear Toby approaching.

"You ready"? – he asked as she jumped in the air.

"Jesus, Toby, you scared me! Wear a bell would you?" – she tried to keep her breath steady.

"No problem. The Press saw everything. I think, me wearing a bell won't be at least suspicious." – he shrugged. He looked at her, and although she appeared to be in control he knew better. C.J. was terrified before her first conference and he was also scared. The Press room was like a Arena for him. And the reporters were like bunch of wild dogs.

"So…?" – he started.

Donna looked him in the eye waiting for the rest. Nothing came.

"So what?"

"Are you ready?"

She smiled nervously and start picking through her folder.

"Yes…yes, I have everything here. I'm ready."

"You know, I didn't want to say this, but I think that you need to be prepared for some questions that are not necessarily related to things you have there. " – he nodded to her folder.

She gulped and looked him in the eye. However, her eyes showed fear.

"Like what?"

Toby rubbed his beard.

"_This is not the thing we should be talking about. We really don't like the easy way out…"_ – he thought.

"Well…they all know you for years now, and they might ask about your relationship with Josh. I'm sure they did their homework."

"I was his assistant. That's it. They all know that. Like you said, they know me for years."

Toby sighed.

"Yes, but that was before you had this job. They will ask how you got it."

She started to get furious. Not at Toby, because he told the truth. She knew that.

"You're referring to my lack of college degree, right?"

"I am."

Toby felt like a bad guy here. Although he would be the first to judge this kind of situation; a college drop-out as the White house Press secretary, but he knew Donna deserved this. And she was good. But he needed to look at things through objective point of view.

Donna felt her heart beating a little faster.

"Toby, I can't make one up. You knew that before you recommended me for this job."

"I know that. All I'm saying is: don't let them judge you. Stop the questions if you feel that the situation has gone overboard." – he stopped for a second. – "But I think you need to say at least something."

She nodded thinking what answer would satisfy the Press. She couldn't come up with anything.

"_This is a story that will make today like Christmas for them."_ – she thought.

"It's time." – Carol announced to Donna.

"Alright."

Toby walked in front of her, but turned around before he opened the door.

"I will announce you and mention how you worked for Russell these months, and how you were excellent. Than, you're on your own."

She didn't say anything. Simply nodded as her knuckles turn white from squeezing the folder.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the press, please sit down. The conference will start now." – Carol announced as Toby walked up to the podium.

They were quiet and they waited for Toby to speak up. He knew that was just for a moment being. This room will be like the circus in a few minutes.

"Like you all expected, and hoped for, I presume, we have a new Press secretary, coming straight from the Vice-President's office. She kept all of you fed in that time. And we're all sure, she'll do a great job here as well. Ladies and gentlemen, Donna Moss."

Some of the photographers started to take pictures and in the moment she was blinded by the flashes. She composed herself as she walked up, feeling Toby's hand on her arm. She smiled at him and looked at the reporters. She knew most of the faces, she talked to them during the Russell campaign, but being back at the White house erased that. She felt small again. She took a deep breath and said:

"My name is Donna Moss, White house Press secretary. In the beginning I would like to start with the President's schedule for the day…" – as she looked down to a piece of paper, the crowd started yelling.

"Donna! Can you tell us how did you get this job, "Is it true you didn't finish college?", "Do you feel it is fair to people who got their degree and worked hard?".

Toby leaned toward Carol and whispered:

"This didn't take long."

Donna's eyes remained at the paper, and although questions were general, she could hear the main question loud and clear: "Did you sleep your way to this position?"

Toby was ready to jump in as soon as it was necessary, but he wanted to see how she can handle herself. It was her job.

"_It's not a secret…I have nothing to hide."_ – she thought. Her eyes showed determination. She will say the truth once and for all. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ears and spoke:

"I will make a statement now. I'm not going to repeat anything so, you better write fast."

The room fell into quietness. Donna took a moment to reposition her self as she started.

AN – This is it for the first chapter. Expect more. And please review!


	2. Behind closed doors

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

Chapter 2 – Behind closed doors

**Santos headquarters**

Josh was sitting at his desk, behind the closed door of his office, like always. During his time in the White house, his door remained open most of the times. Here, it was easier to be behind the closed ones. His head was in some papers that all looked alike, but each held an important piece of information. He didn't even see when the door opened and Santos walked in.

"Well, it's good to see you didn't isolate yourself. I was worried for a moment" – his voice showed sarcasm.

"No need to be. Everything that needs to be done is getting done." – he looked up at the congressman and saw his wife was also there.

"Mrs. Santos, I didn't see you there, sorry."

"That's because I'm not in those papers on your desk." – she simply replied. She didn't like Josh. It wasn't a secret. For her he was an egoistical son of a bitch who cared only for work and nothing else.

"_I wonder if he has any friends at all…"_ – she often asked herself.

Josh shrugged off her comment and asked:  
"What can I do for you?"

"I just came to see if you got those numbers we needed? And to tell you that Helen and I are going to lunch." – Santos said.

"Yeah, I have them here. I was just going through them. They look good, but I have to sort them out first. You enjoy yourself." He said and again turned his look back at the papers.

"Don't you have someone to help you?" – Helen asked.

Josh's jaw clenched. Of course he did. He had 200 people there, but no one he wanted for the job.

"It's better if I go through them myself. It's easier."

Santos nodded. He liked Josh's dedication, but this was not the way to do things. However, Josh did work at the White house. If that is the way he worked there and got results, he should let him.

"I swear to God, Josh, I don't know how you managed to work like this in the White house. You must've been really good if they let you." – Santos remarked.

Josh's face showed anger, but he wasn't going to say anything. He again just nodded and whispered.

"I was good."

Helen simply rolled her eyes. _"His ego is really huge. I bet he thought he was in charge there". _

Just as about Santos wanted to ask something else, Ronna barged in.

"Josh, you need to see this." – she quickly said hello to Santos and his wife as she changed the channel.

"What is it?" – Santos asked.

"White house is having a conference. They are introducing the new Press Secretary." – she looked at Josh as she said this.

He looked down at the screen and there was Donna looking at her folder.

"Turn it up." – he said.

Ronna was turning up the volume so the entire room heard the questions being thrown at her. He, just like Donna, heard only one: _"Did you sleep your way to the job?_" and that made him mad.

Santos looked at the screen than to Josh.

"She didn't finish school? I didn't know that."

Josh remained quiet as he watched Donna fight her inner struggle. He knew what they are getting at. No matter how good she was, that piece of paper is always going to be a problem. His heart broke as he watched Donna. Although it wasn't right, he hoped Toby would save her. His eyes remained pinned to the screen; he didn't even see Helen watching him.

"_What got into him?"_ – she wondered. – _"I bet he hopes that poor girl falls apart. He and his Fulbright scholarship."_

Josh got around his desk so he was standing in front of the TV. He knew Donna's face, and now her face showed determination. He saw that face a lot of times. She changed his mind a lot of times, all while wearing that face. He couldn't help but smile a little as he heard her say:

"_I will make a statement now. I'm not going to repeat anything so, you better write fast."_

AN – Next chapter: Donna makes a statement. Review for comfort.


	3. This is not going to be good

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

Thanks to:

Kursk – You read my mind.:) I plan on usin Helen more. I love her character, although she's not that exposed.

miss jasadin – Too bad you don't like Helen. I think her character is perfect to add some new things to Josh/Donna relationship. Everyone else excepted the fact they were hopeless. She has a new point of view.

Cai-wiggins - I hope you'll like this. And I will include more Helen's thoughts in future chapters.

Dietcherryemmy – Well, I though since Bartlett has a few months left in the office, Donna as the Press secretary would pass. She knows everything, and she worked for Russell dealing with the reporters. And I needed her there. :) Thanks for the review!

Nicole 10 – Just one sentence: "I hate sad endings.":)

KristiP – I hope this is fast enough.

Amy77 – Well, I hope this is soon enough.:) Let me know what you think:)

Uwprincess – I thought as well the situation could pass as the realistic one.

Gils, Arkana, Denise, Joy and Kala– thanks as well!

**Chapter 3 – I proved myself**

**White house Press room**

As soon as they all got quiet, Donna closed her folder and started to speak.

"You all know who I am. My name is…" – she paused for a second, smiling a little . " Donnatella Moss. I worked here, near you for 6 years, as the assistant for the former Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman. Yes, it's true; I am a college drop-out. I quit because I had to… put someone else through medical school. After that I needed to get my life back. Or better say, make one. That was the time I heard Jed Bartlett speak. For someone that young and naïve like I was, he made this world look appealing. I packed my things and went to Manchester." – she stopped.

"_I can't say I hired myself…That would be just bad."_ – the thought crossed her mind. Quickly she continued.

"My life started because Josh Lyman gave me a chance. He made me his assistant and I worked hard to prove myself. For 6 years, I breathed and ate politics, working side by side with the best minds of this government. I worked days and nights. I was there for good and for the bad times." – she stopped for a second to gain composure. Somehow, bad times flashed before her eyes; and she though how many there were; Josh getting shot, President's MS, finally Gaza. She took a deep breath and started speaking again.

"I proved myself to all of them. And I would like to think that Josh never regretted he hired me for a second. I proved myself to him, to the President, but mainly to myself. This is the reason you see me standing here. And although no one said specifically, I haven't slept my way to this job. Any questions?"

Toby's hand went to his eyes. He felt a migraine coming.

"_Wonderful. Even that bell around my neck wouldn't attract this much attention."_

Donna stood there ready to take a punch. She handed them a lot of material, she knew that, but nothing that they didn't already know. She was ready for this.

**Santos headquarters**

The whole room remained quiet through Donna's speech. However, none of them, except Ronna could hide the surprise as she declared herself as the assistant to Josh. And none of them could hide the surprise as she named him as the guy who gave her a chance. Helen took a quick glance towards Josh to see he was surprised as well. His mouth was slightly open as he breathed hard and listened to her. She never saw him listen to anyone so carefully. Not even her husband. And he wasn't yelling at the TV. However she saw one big thing. At the same moment he and Donna both flinched; as she mentioned good and bad times. They were almost synchronized.

"_What is going on here?"_ – was her question but everybody else's as well.

"This is not going to be good. That girl just opened the door for them" – Santos remarked as his eyes remained to the screen. At the same time, the door opened and Edie barged in.

"Josh, we need to prepare a statement. They are all going to be asking questions. Donna Moss just pointed you out to them." – she was in such a hurry, she didn't even notice Leo behind her.

"It won't be necessary."

"Leo, what are you talking about?" – Santos asked. – "We need a response as soon as possible."

Leo closed the door and approached them.

"Just watch."

**White house press room.**

"_Now I know what a heart attack feels like. Good, I was wondering about that."_ – Toby thought as he waited for the Press to go wild on Donna. However, Donna felt calm. She had nothing to hide.

She looked at everyone and they all had strange smiles on their faces, knowing smiles. None of them really thought she slept her way to the job, but questions needed to be asked and answered. And they were. Suddenly, one hand got up.

"Yes, Katie?" – Donna asked small woman sitting in the front.

"Can you tell us about today's schedule?"

Toby looked at her like she's gone crazy as Donna opened her folder again.

"Certainly. As we speak, the President is on a conference call…" – she continued to read and the press stopped her only to elaborate some details. Besides her statement, it was a slow day.

AN – If you're surprised by the reaction from the Press, and Josh…wait a day. I just have to clean up my next chapter. Leo will explain everything.:) Although, I'm sure you know why there were no more questions. If you have suggestions, let me know. :)


	4. What do you know

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

Thanks to: kursk – you're reading my mind. I will use more of Leo in the future as well, but I think he said in this chapter just enough for now.

Miss jasadin – Well, I hope this was fast and long enough for you.:) I'm trying to split my chapters so they all have small cliffhangers; and the only reason why last was a bit short. Watching WW, I realized that Helen really has a bad opinion of Josh. And that's not surprising, considering how he acts. So, this is a good way of putting Josh under a different light.

Simanis – Well, I hope this answers your question.:)

Dietcherryemma – I didn't think you were rude.:) I always thought (and still do) that education is not sign of intelligence, so this was the way to proving that. And I think that was proven through Donna's character in WW as well. Can't wait for your new review! Thanks!

Juwist – Thanks for your compliment! I really tried to capture them and I'm glad you think I did!

And thanks to: Shanj, Roy Reny, Kala and Jack as well!

**Chapter 4 – Who would've known…**

**Santos headquarters**

Leo stood there smiling and watching faces of his co-workers. They all looked like fishes, all wanted to say something, but didn't know what exactly. All of them, except Josh, who was still shocked about what Donna said. He hurt her too much. And he kept hurting her over and over again. Just like she hurt him. Like it was a routine. He never expected her to thank him, especially not on TV, better yet, to thank him for her life after everything that happened. That job almost took her life. But, after all, she was always a better person than him. He always thought that. And that was the only thing that hasn't changed even after she left. He felt something shifting inside him. Suddenly he was overwhelmed with a sense of pride. He was so proud of her. She stood there, where even he failed badly, and she won them over with her sincerity. Just like she won him all those years ago. He didn't lie to her; he really did miss her every day, every hour, every second.

Santos looked from Leo to Josh to his wife and back to Leo.

"Don't tell me? You have a crystal ball hidden in your office? How the hell did you know they will leave this be? This is something they should be all over it. Like hyenas. "

"No crystal ball. Just common sense." – Leo said . He always had a good hunch. He was good at reading people. The office got smaller with every minute.

"Seriously, you hired her knowing she didn't finish college? How far did she get?" – Santos turned around to face Josh who was very quiet.  
He coughed a little and not looking at anyone, simply said:

"She hired herself."

"And thank God she did." – Leo added as he patted Josh on the back. Josh simply smiled to the old man. He knew what he was thinking, just how many times Donna saved his life, in more ways that just one. But that was all a part of his old life that he had. He thought it was behind him.

"OK, look." – Edie said thinking about consequences – "I still think we need to have a statement ready. One of our biggest programs is education. We can't have people think our campaign manager doesn't care about that." – she thought for a second coming up with the plan. – "We can say she was assigned to you, no arguments. Let them question someone who hires assistants there."

This statement only resulted with Josh giving her a dirty eye. He was ready to jump into his pattern of yelling, but Leo stopped him.

"Like I said, they will leave this be. There will be no questions from the press."

"With all do respect, sir, but…" – Edie tried to find the right words. – "how can you be sure?"

"I agree, Josh." – Santos started. – "We need to be prepared."

"Look, congressman. If I get the question, I'll answer it. I don't need to prepare." – he calmed himself. He wasn't ready to have another "incident over Donna", this time on front of the Congressman. – "But, I agree with Leo, I don't think I'll have to answer any questions." – Josh said as he looked down at his hands. – "I never did before."

Leo shot him a knowing glare, but didn't say anything.

"Sorry, Josh, but sometimes you're not the most reliable person in front of the press…wait, what do you mean "before"? Before what?"

Leo saw that Josh was becoming uncomfortable. He was a master of deceptions, after all. And they never busted him for it. Not the Press, not his friends. However, this was no time the usual performance of ignorance. Santos deserved to know the truth, still not the entire truth. He wasn't sure if even Josh knew the entire truth.

"What he means is that Donna worked for Josh for over 6 years and if they wanted to ask something they would." – Leo said, but another thought went through his head - _"And they probably did, just not out loud. God knows, we all did."_

Santos was getting angrier by the second. Josh and Leo acted like they had a secret brotherhood, and he and everyone else were out of the loop.

"Maybe they were without any stories than, but this is different. This girl practically just called him her savior."

"_God, honey, sometimes you can be so stupid…"_ – Helen thought covering her mouth so no one could see she was smiling. She was getting the picture. A few pieces were still missing, but she will find them. She shared a look with Ronna who caught her smiling.

Josh sighed and rubbed his hands through his hair wondering how on earth he ended up talking about him and Donna in front of the Congressman and his wife. Not to mention Edie and Ronna who didn't say the word the entire time. She met Donna twice, and even than she could feel the tension between them. But, she decided to keep her mouth shut. Leo on the other hand had no problem talking about it. Josh was like a son to him, and he knew Donna was a big part of keeping him sane.

"Although, this is not a secret, I think Josh's life was not that public during his stay at the White house. Not to the public at least. Donna is to thank for that as well. She kept them off Josh for the entire time he was recovering from a gun shot wound when he was shot in Rosslyn. She stayed with him for three months helping him recover and they never asked a question. Hell, she even kept us away! He was not aloud to do any business until she said so."

"Yeah, the rules…" – Josh muttered.

He stopped to look at Josh who was obviously remembering those moments. He never felt more helpless as than. Donna got him through that. He looked at Santos who was looking at Josh with a strange look on his face. It was obvious that he forgot about Josh being shot twice. Helen looked just surprised as her husband.

Although she was a politician's wife, all she remembered about Rosslyn was that the President was shot. Just like most people. Josh was just a name in the press. And they forgot that.

He had a completely different role now. They never looked back on the time he was in the White house. They've placed him behind the title of the Deputy Chief of Staff, but they never thought about what that included.

"_Three months without work…"_ – Helen questioned that fact. – _"He must've drove that girl crazy. I don't know a person here who would dare to take work away from Josh."_ – her thoughts were interrupted by Leo.

"Just as they never questioned the reasons behind Josh's actions when he left the States in the middle of the crisis to fly across the world to be by her side when she was injured in Gaza. For Christ sake, he threatened to kill everyone in the Middle East."

He again stopped seeing Josh's hurt and discomfort. And Josh never remained quiet so long. The worst facts of his life were presented for the first time in front of these people. He didn't want their pity. He didn't want them knowing that part of his life. They were no part of it. And he remembered his outbreak in the Oval office. He really crossed the line there.

"Anyway, there's no story there." – Leo concluded. – "Not a political one anyway."

Josh sent him a glare of warning not to go there.

"Well…" – Santos started. – "I guess this is it than. Josh, promise me that this won't be a big deal. You all sound so sure, but I can't help not to expect the worst. It is a surprise you weren't part of a sex scandal as it is. Or at least a political one. Seriously, you threatened to kill everyone in the Middle East? That should've ended up on the cover of all papers!"

Josh felt more stupid by every minute. He was a brilliant political mind; however this turned him into an irrational, crazy man.

"That was because I said that in front of the President and not the Press." - he muttered.

"Yeah, screamed was more like it" – Leo added.

Santos raised his eyebrow but decided not to ask anymore questions.

"_This is one of those situations where less information is more preferable."_ – he thought. However, Helen was gaping not hiding her surprise.

"_He yelled at the President, he left his job…this is not Josh I know. What happened to him?"_ – Helen questioned herself.

"There'll be no problem, sir." – Josh wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible shifted from one leg to another. – "No problem at all."

"She's not working for him anymore. There is no conflict of interest now." – Ronna chipped in knowingly causing Leo to smile. He liked the girl. She wasn't a part of the group who pretended to be blind like they all did. Josh on the other hand looked like someone threw a bucket of cold water on him as the words echoed in his head.

"What interest?" – his voice hit the higher note causing Helen to smile again. She found the entire situation amusing. For the first time since her husband decided to join this circus and she planned on enjoying herself as long as she could.

"Well, we have a lot of work to do. Let's go everybody. Josh looks like he's going to throw us out anyhow." – Santos announced to the room trying to light up the atmosphere what was the sign for everyone else to leave as well. Ronna was the first one out.

Leo glanced at Josh who was staring at the carpet. He shook his head and grabbed the door wanting to close it.

"Leave them open." – Josh said quietly.

He smiled at the younger man.

"Welcome back, kid."

Josh slowly sat back in his chair looking at the TV screen. The press conference was over. He didn't have to see the rest to know she did great. He remembered seeing her tuck her hair behind the ear when she started her statement like she always did when she was nervous. He was so mad at her, so blind from anger that he forgot those little things. For the first time since she left he felt mad at himself.

His head hit the desk as he covered his ears to block out the rest of the world. Somehow he knew that wouldn't be enough. The fact was proven when he heard a little cough. He looked up and Helen Santos was standing leaning at the doorframe.

"I though you left for lunch. Did you want something?"

"No, no, I just left my purse here." – she grabbed it from the chair and headed for the door. She turned around and looked him in the eyes, not saying anything.

"What?" – Josh asked feeling very uncomfortable.

"Nothing…just…who would've known? You actually had a heart once."

She gave him a little smile and left.

AN – In the next chapter: what happens at the same time on Donna's side.


	5. Blood and tears

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

**Thanks to:**

Kursk – The questioning is over; however there are still a few questions that need to be answered. But, their encounter is pretty close.:)Thanks!

KristyP – I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I think that Josh's change in behavior really can be placed behind the fact he lost a part of his life in Donna. I hope you'll like one too. I wanted to find someone in the White house, besides Toby and CJ with who she could talk to. Of course, we can't expect from her to admit everything yet...:)Hope to hear from you again!

Miss jasadin – It's good that you're never happy.:) That way, you can make good reviews. Anyway, Matt was really there to play his politician role, while Helen got to see things from her woman's point of view. And Ronna will have a few more things to say.:)

Mhcrose311 – Thanks a lot! I share your opinion. It is sad how some things that are right turn upside down. However, I'm making myself a goal to change that here. Not just yet, anyway...:)Hope to hear from you!

Simanis – Thanks! Don't worry, I plan to revive their friendship, maybe a little easier on the friends part.:) And Leo comes in the next chapter again!

Lu78 – I have big plans with Helen in this story. Especially, for my next chapter, when the story is moving to Santos's headquarters again. See, how I'm trying to do the same thing as in the real WW :) Hope to hear from you again.

**Chapter 5 – Blood and tears**

**White house **

Donna slowly exited the room feeling like a giant weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She actually did it!

"_OK, Donnatella, just calm down, walk out that door. Don't let them see you're going to do a victory dance as soon as you're on the other side."_ – her thoughts were dancing, but she had a tough time keeping the smile of her face.

Toby walked right behind her. And although he was still surprised, he couldn't help but chuckle as he realized Donna picked up the same strut that Josh had when he did good. Still, it was a long way from yelling through the hallways that "she's da man".

As the doors closed behind them, she turned around and hugged him.

"I did it! Did you see that? I was good!"

Toby shared her smile, grabbing the folder from her, as she started to dance.

"I saw. It was…quite something. Congratulations."

She stopped her dance only to look at him. She would've thought he will be more enthusiastic. At least as much is possible for Toby.

"You don't look pleased?"

"No, no, I am. You did great. Did you think of the ramifications of your little statement?" Her smile disappeared.

"Such as?" – she asked placing the hands on her hips. Toby was trying to tell her something, and she wanted to know exactly what that is. He was ruining her fun.

"Well, although I'm surprised there were no more questions in there regarding…well that subject" – there was no way in hell that he will repeat her "sleeping-her-way-to-this-position" part. – "but there were no members of the yellow press there. These are serious people, well, at least most of the time, and they let this go. It doesn't mean, some tabloid won't pick this up."

"You really think they won't let this go?"

"I really don't know…" – Toby started but C.J. approached them.

"Donna, nice save! Although that sleeping part was maybe redundant, but you did really well."

Donna smiled to her friend. Although it didn't look sincere like it was a few minutes back. It meant a lot to her that C.J. was complementing her. She was a big role model for her, and a good friend.

"So, you don't think some tabloid will hunt this?" – she wanted to hear her opinion.

C.J. realized that she came in the middle of an argument. She looked from Donna to Toby.

"I don't think so. Toby?"

"I just said that they could pick it up. Josh is still running Santos's campaign, and education is their main thing."

Realization just hit her.

"Oh, my God, you don't think that I hurt Josh's campaign in any way?" – she looked panicked.

Toby and C.J. shared a look.

"It's _Santos's_ campaign and, no, I don't think anyone was hurt here." – C.J. replied emphasizing the word Santos.

Her cheeks turned into light shade of red as she saw C.J. giving her the look. Almost the same look she gave her before her trip to Gaza. The judging look.

"Yes, Santos's campaign. That's what I meant." – she muttered and quickly continued. – "So, you think there will be no consequences?"

C.J. shook hear head and started walking toward her office with Toby and Donna in tow.

"I think everything will be fine. Just call someone at Santos's headquarters and check with them. Maybe they will get some questions. So, try to agree on the same answer. This doesn't actually ease things on them." – he purposely didn't want to mention Josh as a contact.

"Yeah, I'll do that."

Donna nodded to both of them and went to her office.

"And I was just doing my victory dance…" – she muttered in her chin while Carol was watching her from her desk. She closed the doors behind her and leaned on the door. Her look fell on the phone.

"_Well, better now than later." _

Donna opened her doors and stuck her head out.

"Carol, can you call me someone from Santos's campaign?"

Carol looked at her carefully, smiling a little, trying to see if there was a secret meaning to that request.

"Someone as in…?" – she didn't want to say Josh. There were a lot of people there, and they were all casting glances at Donna.

"Someone, as in someone, who can talk to me about a few press issues now." – she wanted to get inside her office where she wasn't exposed to castaway glances from the staff.

"So, I shouldn't call…" – Carol yelled before she managed to get inside.

"No, no, no!" – she came out waving her hands – "Just someone in charge for the press releases there." – she quickly added and entered her office. She sat behind her desk and hit her head on the desk.

"This is becoming an unbearable day." – she muttered as the back of her head hit the chair. She was trying to remember every part of the statement she made. It wasn't a plan, the words just kept flowing from her mouth.

"That was good." – she thought. – "mentioning the fact just how long I've been working here and under what circumstances. I mean, you can't survive in this place if you're not a hard worker. I got the chance and I worked hard, earned my way to this place."

She still felt like something was wrong. She couldn't name it, but something was in the back of her mind.

"Carol?" – Donna pressed the intercom button. – "How's that call coming?"

"I can't get through. All I get is a busy signal. I'm still trying. Don't worry. I'll let you know as soon as I get someone."

Donna smiled a little. Never, in a million years would she thought she will have an assistant. She knew she earned it, but she also felt all those stares in the whole ways.

"Actually, I want to talk to you about something. Can you come in here?"

There was a small silence before Carol entered the room.

"Is everything OK?" – Carol asked sympathetically.

"Donna motioned her to sit down.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just want to ask you something. Do you think I'm not entitled to this job?"  
Carol was struck aback from this question.

"God, Donna, why would you think that? Did I do anything to…?"

"No, no, no, it's just…well, you graduated – I didn't. Considering that, you have a right to have an objection ."  
Carol was quiet for a second as she watched her friend struggle with words. They knew each other a long time, and she felt like she can speak her opinion like she could before.

"Donna, is this about Josh?"

Donna felt like someone hit her in the stomach.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Well, you did mention him in the Press room. Great job, by the way. But, you know, you never needed to go back that far. Your credentials maybe started with Josh Lyman, but you already proved that you're worthy. Why do you still question your abilities?

Donna looked down and started playing with her notes. It was like everyone had an opinion about Josh and her. And she hated that. Why couldn't she just live her life without being connected to him? Why couldn't _she_ break that connection? God knows she tried.

"You don't understand. He's my…"

"He's your what?" – Carol knew she had no right to question he boss like that. But it looked to her, that Donna was finally ready to name some things in her life with their real names. And not hide behind titles.

Donna laughed bitterly.

"He's my nothing. You know what, I keep forgetting the fact that we're not friends anymore." – her eyes began to tear.

"I think you're wrong on that. He let you go."

Donna looked at her friends eyes, not caring that they looked like pools filled with water.

"I left."

Carol sadly nodded.

"Yeah, but I'm not talking about that. He got the chance to get you back as his deputy, and he refused. Remember what you once told me; how Charlie had to make a promise to the President that he will quit when he finishes school? Well, as much as it killed him probably, he did exactly that. He let you go. And only a true friend would do that. It's up to you to decide what you'll do with that freedom."

A small tear fell from Donna's eyes. She couldn't force herself to think that that was the case, because her true feelings would come through again. And she tried to bury them as deep as possible.

"I think you're wrong. He couldn't hire me, because of all the things I said during the campaign. He even had a folder of all my "famous" quotes." – she stopped looking directly into Carol's eyes. – "How do you know I went there?"

Carol smiled to her standing up.

"I didn't. You just told me."

Donna couldn't force herself to speak, afraid her voice will betray her. As she was about to leave, Carol turned one more time.

"You can't run from your life, Donna. And Josh is apart of yours. No matter if you'll willing to admit that or not. You shed blood and tears together. You can't erase that." – she gave her friend a reassuring smile. – "I'm gonna try to make that call for you."

Another tear fell from Donna's eyes as the door behind Carol closed. She wasn't crying, she was Donna at last. But, her eyes found a spot on her wall and she stared at it, playing with her necklace. She did that when she was worried and sad…

AN – Well, I hope you liked it! Next: more of Helen's thoughts. She will get her hands on those Inauguration tapes Leo watched once when he came back to the White house after his heart attack.. And she has a few questions on her own.


	6. The plan

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

Thanks to:

Kursk – I'm glad you liker carol. I think that Donna at this point can't pinpoint her true feelings. She's still in a very weird place. But, not for long, if I can help it:)

Kala – I promise it won't be sad for long.

Jas – hope you liked the development

Amy77 – this was a little long wait, sorry, but it's longer than my last chapters. Hope you like it. I love Toby and his humor, so I tried to put it here. I'm glad it worked.

Madeleina – You know what…I completely forgot the trip to N.Dakota. And you're right, she was great there! It is interesting to see how Josh acts differently with two staffs. I tried to explain that here a bit. Hope you'll like it. There will be more if it, cause I like his interaction with people.

KristiP – I also don't like weeping Donna. She proved that she is a strong woman, and I don't plan to make her the weak one. Of course, emotions will make her a bit sensitive. :)

Chllaah – well, here you go!

Actress43 – here's more. Enjoy!

Soozy87 – I will try to keep it up! I'm already working on the next chapter.

**Chapter 6 – The plan**

**Santos headquarters**

"I still think we should have a press notice ready." – Edie said to Ronna who was walking next to her. – "I mean, I don't get it. Just because those reporters, who obviously decided to take the same drug today, backed away, doesn't mean that someone else won't pick this up."

"Edie, just drop it." – Ronny sighed. She knew that Edie was pissed. Not that she could blame her. – "The issue is resolved for now. We'll worry about it if it comes up again."

Edie looked at her colleague shaking her head unbelievingly.

"Did you use the same drug? How can you be so calm? I mean, you know how hard it was for Santos to win this nomination. This could screw up everything."

"Yes, I was there! All the way!" – Ronna raised her voice. She appreciated Edie's expertise, but she wasn't there for the ride. She joined up to work for Congressman Santos, presidential candidate, and not Congressman Santos who walked through small towns talking in diners about his plans. – "You have to put people in front of politics, Edie. And there is no scandal here. That's the reason why no one picked up on the story."

Edie stayed quiet for a second eyeing Ronna.

"Well, tell me something than."

Ronna nodded giving her a signal to go on.

"When Donna Moss exited that office…" – Edie said pointing the fingers towards Josh's opened doors. – "…crying, a few weeks ago, there wasn't a story behind it?"

Ronna stood there confused. Edie wasn't a part of the staff than. She couldn't know that.

"How do know..?"

"Ned told me a few minutes ago. When he heard that Donna Moss was the new Press secretary for the White house, he told me that she came here for a job, my job actually. And left here crying. Are you still sticking with your statement that there's no story?"

"Yes." – Ronna said determinately.

They were eying each other for a few seconds, when Edie's' secretary interrupted them.

"Excuse me, Edie, there's a phone call for you."

"Take a message." – she said not turning away from Ronna's glare.

"Ahm…it's from the White house. Donna Moss wants to speak with someone."

Both of women looked at the young woman acknowledging her presence. Edie simply nodded to her letting her know she will take the call.

"Well, I guess I'll go see if there is a story." – she turned around and went to her desk, leaving Ronna standing. Her eyes fell on Josh's office while she tried to decide whether she should tell him about the phone call. She decided against. Edie was pissed, but she wouldn't harm the Congressman.

Edie leaned back in her chair picking up the phone.

"_She better not play superiority card on me"_ – Edie thought last. -

"Edith Ortega. How can I help you?"

Donna was feeling somewhat nervous. She wasn't looking forward to this phone call, no matter who picked up the phone on the other end. When she heard the voice answering, she took a deep breath.

"Hi, this is Donna Moss, White house Press secretary… Ms. Ortega…I'm sorry, you are?" – she forgot to ask Carol to who exactly she will talk to.

"I'm the Deputy Campaign Manager. What can I help you with?" – Edie politely asked.

"_Wonderful, Josh's deputy."_

""Well, Ms.Ortega…" – Donna started.

"Edie."

"Excuse me?"

"That's my name. You don't have to call me Mrs.Ortega."

"Alright, Edie, I 'm calling regarding to today's conference I held. Now, I'm not sure if you seen it yet, however…" – Donna tried to find the right words, but Edie stopped her.

"Yes, we all saw it."

"We?"

"Yes, the Congressman and his staff – we saw it. Congratulations. You managed to put the fire down."

Edie's voice dripped with sarcasm, but Donna decided to ignore it.

"Well, than you know why I'm calling. I mentioned a few things regarding Josh Lyman to the Press to answer their questions. I understand how this could affect your campaign as well. So, I'm wondering if you have any actions planned regarding to the situation that I should know about."

Edie listened as Donna spoke. She could hear the discomfort in her voice. This wasn't easy for her, she could hear that. And she could here something else as well. Donna Moss was obviously very well trained in these kind of conversations; the one you have to make, when you need a favor, or you need to apologize. Of course, knowing Josh for some time, she knew that was a skill she had to learn.

"Well, Ms Moss…"

"Donna. You should call me Donna."

Edie remembering something and she wanted to push a few buttons.

"I'm curious, is it Donna or Donnatella?"

Donna's grip on the phone tightened.

"It's Donna." – No one called her Donnatella anymore, and she certainly wasn't going to allow this woman to call her that.

Edie's mind worked trying to come up with the right approach. She had to protect the campaign, and she had to put the distance between it and Donna Moss.

"Well, Donna, let me reassure you. We're really busy here and none of us thought about it much. So, no need to check on things on our end."

"You haven't?" – she wasn't expecting that they were losing any sleep over there. But, the thought of them, especially Josh, not caring at all hurt her. But, she wasn't going to admit that to anyone. Even to herself.

"No, we decided we won't make any statements. The past should stay in the past. Our program deserves to be presented without any side games. You understand that, right?"

Donna felt really uncomfortable with the way this conversation was heading. It was obvious that Edith wasn't her biggest fan, but she was speaking in the name of the entire Santos's staff. Actually, she was making it very clear that Donna Moss wasn't a factor in anyone's lives there. And she couldn't help but wonder if Josh instructed her to act like that. Suddenly, Donna felt trapped in that conversation. All she wanted to do was to hang up.

"Well, Mrs. Ortega, I guess, this is it, than. The White house is also not expecting any questions, but if they occur, we won't answer them."

"I think we agree on that. Santos's campaign has no statements regarding Josh in that situation." – Edith's answer was quick and harsh.

Donna was about to hang up when she heard a familiar voice over the phone.

"Who are you talking to?"

Edith jumped in her seat. She had no idea how long was Josh standing there. It was obvious that he didn't know who was on the other side. But, he knew it was about him. Something he hated. The situation was intense, but Edith was an expert on handling those kinds of situations. She motioned to Josh that she'll be in a minute. He stepped away a little, while Edith turned around from him. She had no plans to allow him to hear her next words.  
"Well, I guess this is it. I'm sure you heard Josh in the background. The subject won't be mentioned ever again."

"I understand." – Donna simply muttered before hanging up. Her voice was cracking and she wasn't going to allow Edith to hear that.

"_I guess this is really it."_ – painful thought was filling her mind and heart as she repeated the words – _"The subject won't be mentioned again…"_

Edith heard the tension in Donna's voice, but could care less. The point was to put as much as distance between Josh and Donna. She turned around towards Josh who was waiting.

"I though I was perfectly clear when I said we weren't going to talk about this?"

"You were. It was just one reporter from some local newspapers. I was just making it clear. No need to worry about this."

Josh nodded before heading back to his office. When he entered it, the strong urge to close them again overwhelmed him. He didn't know any of these people out there. And he meant what he said to Donna; he didn't trust any of them. It was easier to trust people when she was watching his back. Everything was easier when she was there. But, she was gone. No point to dwell on that. He saw that the congressman and his wife returned from their lunch, but he decided to stay in his office. The work won't get done by itself.

Helen looked around the office, obviously trying to find someone with her eyes.

"Well, back to the cruel truth." – Santos sighed noticing his wife wasn't paying attention to him. – "You already tired of me?"

"Hm? Oh, no, no, just taking in the madness, that's all."

"Well, I gotta go and talk to Josh. Are you heading back to the hotel?"

"You know what, I think I'll stay a little."

Santos looked at her funnily. She never wanted to stay somewhere by her own choice. She hated the political scene. But, he knew better than to question her motives.

"OK, see you later." – he gave her a little kiss, before walking over Josh's office. The sight of the door opened surprised him.

Helen watched her husband go, and as soon as he entered the office she turned around and went to find Leo. He was sitting in his office, going through some papers.

"Hi, Leo, am I interrupting?"

"No, not at all. Come in. How was lunch?" – Leo motioned for her to sit down.

"Good, good." – Helen felt a little bit nervous. She knew she's going to look like the nosiest person in the world. But, somehow, she knew Leo wouldn't mind her questions. He was watching her waiting for her to speak. But, the words weren't coming from her mouth.

"Do you need me for something or are you just looking for a place to hide?"

She laughed realizing how silly she must look like.

"Actually, Leo, I need to ask you a few questions."

"Really? What about?" – he was truly surprised. Helen and he spoke for maybe a few minutes before today, and that was only on a need to know bases.

"Well, you see, I was never a big fan of Josh Lyman." – Leo chuckled at her approach, but he motioned her to continue. – "Well, today I saw something that I've never seen in these last few months. I saw, mighty Josh Lyman; confused, quiet, and, God help me for saying this, but touched. Something I thought I was never going to see."

She stopped for a second noticing a little smirk on Leo's face.

"What?"

"Well, I think today was a big surprise for all of you, that's all."

She looked at him suspiciously.  
"But not for you?"

"Oh, God, no! Today was the first time in a long time I've seen Josh act like himself."

"Himself?" – Helen was still having problems to grasp that concept.

"Yes. I've known Josh all of his life, but I got to know him better when we were working in the White house together. And I have to say, I missed the old Josh."

Helen saw the love in Leo's eyes. It was clear that he saw Josh as a son, and not only because he knew him all of his life.

"I guess I should've known him than, ha?" – she laughed bitterly, but everything was planned. She wanted to get to the topic which held her mind occupied the entire lunchtime. If someone asked what her husband was talking about, she wouldn't know.

"Yes, you should have. Anything else?" – Leo was obviously not going to take her bait. He was a politician after all. However, he knew exactly what Helen wanted to know. It was what every woman who found themselves in a same room with Josh and Donna wanted to know.

"Well…I guess not. You know if you're not busy, maybe you can tell me a few stories. I'm really curious on how was the life there."

Leo decided to have some fun with her.

"Well, there are some good stories regarding C.J. For example, did you ever heard of her impersonation of "The Jackal"?

"No…but…"

"Oh, or when she needed to choose a turkey to pardon. That was good."

Helen realized he was messing with her.  
"OK, I get it. If I want something, I should be straightforward."

"You're in politics now." – Leo smiled at her.

"Fine. I want to know what happened between Josh and Donna."

Leo though about it for a second. It was no secret, and she could get the answer from anyone. However, he didn't have the time to tell her the entire story. Even if he had the rest of the day off, it still wouldn't be enough to tell the whole story. He chuckled at the thought. However, another one crossed his mind.

"You know what. I think I have something you can use." – He stood up and went over to the closet, and he pulled out the box. – "These are the Inauguration tapes from over the years. And a few events as well. You can find out a few things from them. Feel free to watch them here. I have to go. Apparently there is something wrong with the shade of my powder, according to Annabeth." – he smiled as he placed the box in front of her. – "See you later"

He left the room and closed the door behind him. Helen remained sitting there, not quite understanding what happened. She carefully picked up the box as it was a bomb. Inside there were video cassettes, marked with numbers. She picked one and popped it into a VCR.

"_Well, yes, this is going to be a piece of cake…"_ – she thought sarcastically. – _"How am I supposed to see anything here? Oh, here's something. Ah, it's just Josh alone."_ – she fast forward the tape, recognizing faces in the process, but no one she was interested in at that time.

"_OK, here's the speech…no need to hear that now. Next…next…next…great! I managed to pick one tape where there's no action! Why would these tapes be interesting at all? Donna was Josh's assistant. Why do I get the feeling Leo was trying to mess with my….oh wait, here we have something."_ – she hit the play button at the same time Josh and Donna were entering the hall. And she was wearing his coat, obviously, considering the fact he was shivering. They were entering arm in arm and her mouth hit the ground.

"Well, this is a sight you don't get to see every day…well, unless you worked in the White house for the past 7 years, that is." – the camera was showing some not familiar faces now, so she fast forward it a bit more.

"I'm sorry, are my eye deceiving me…is that Josh Lyman dancing? And with what appears to be his assistant. Well, well, you have some nice moves, Mr. Lyman. Too bad I can't use this to mock him a bit." – she started to talk to herself. And she enjoyed the fact. – "OK, let's see what else is here." – she fast forward it a little more, and something simple caught her eye. There they were, Donna and Josh standing next to each other. She was taking a full glass away from him, obviously saying how he can't drink any more. As she turned around to put the glass on the table he picked another from the waiter who was walking bye, just so she can take that one as well.

She could almost hear him whine. It was a well known maneuver. Almost rehearsed. Next she saw was Donna fixing Josh's bow tie.

"_Well, isn't this cute? And he even doesn't look mad. I wonder what he would do if Edie came to idea to fix his tie. He would probably strangle her with it."_ – she chuckled at the though. Only than she noticed they weren't alone. She leaned towards the screen trying to recognize the face. It was so familiar, but she couldn't place it anywhere. She paused the tape, as she walked to the door and opened them. Carefully she looked around noticing Ronna standing at her desk. She approached her, and nudged her in the back to get her attention.  
"Mrs. Santos, what can I do for you?"

"Can you come with me for a second?"

"Ahm…sure. What do you need?"

"Just follow me." – both women entered Leo's office, and Helen shut the door behind them. – "Come closer."

They approached the TV, and Helen hit the play button again.

"Who is this guy standing next to Josh?"

Ronna got closer as she tried to recognize the face. She didn't dare to ask why Mrs. Santos wanted to know.

"I think that's Danny Concannon."

"_Danny Concannon…"_ – Helen's face showed realization and understanding as she shook her head. _– "One of the most important political reporters. No wonder why no one was expecting any question from the Press. It was all old news to them. And they had the front seats watching it live."_

Than she realized Ronna was still watching her. She smiled feeling a little embarrassed.

"Thanks a lot, Ronna. Would you mind if I begged you not to say about this to anyone?"

Ronna smiled motioning that she will keep her mouth shut.

"If there's nothing else…"

"No. And sorry for taking you away from you job." – she apologized again as Ronna left the room. She shut the TV down removing the tape from the VCR. Suddenly a realization hit her. She pulled out calendar from her bag, and flipped a few pages, until she found the right one. A smile crept up her face.

"I almost forgot…" – she quickly pulled out her phone and dialed hers assistant.

"Yeah, hi, it's Helen…No, I'm still with Matt. Listen, you know that event I wanted to skip…yeah, that one…well, I think we should make it a priority. OK, let me know!" – she hung up still smiling. Both, Josh and Matt, and a lot of people she didn't know tried to convince her how it would be good if she attended that event. But, it was crossing over with another one she had planned. Of course, situation changed. She put all the cassettes at their place, and placed the box back on its place. Closing the door behind her she marched towards Josh's office, like a woman on a mission.

"Mrs. Santos, everything OK?" – she heard Edie's voice.

"Never better, Edie, never better."

She knocked on the door and after a very loud "come in" coming from Josh, she entered the room.

"Helen, what's up?" – Matt asked seeing she was flushed.

"Oh, nothing, just wanted to inform you how I will take part on that women event in the White house. Now, don't want to interrupt anymore. See you later!" – she closed the door behind her, leaving two very confused men inside.

AN – I apologize for the long wait. College is really interrupting my time to write. :)

Anyway, I would really want to know what you think about this so far, so don't be shy!

And feel free to make suggestions! Kiss!


	7. It's our fault

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

Thanks to:

Teri – thanks a lot! Don't worry, Edie will get her share.

Kursk – I'm glad you love Helen more. I loved her actually in "Here today" episode. I hope you'll enjoy this as well.

mhcrose311 – I know this wasn't soon enough, but I've been really busy. However, i hope you'll enjoy this.

lady-peaches – hey, thanks for your review! Edie shows her face here again, so, here's a few more reasons to dislike her. :)

missjasadin () – I hope this answers your question. And i hope you'll enjoy this! Can't wait to hear who you will dislike in this chapter. :)

dietcherryemma – glad you understand my college problem. Really interfering. I hope you'll have the time for this!

actress43 – I hope you'll have the time to read this. Enjoy:)

soozy87 – I'm glad you liked it. Enjoy this as well!

kasluvsg1 – thanks!

**Chapter 7 – It's our fault**

**Santos/McGarry headquarters**

Both Matt and Josh looked at each other wondering what just happened there.

"Now, I know that woman looked a lot like my wife, however that is where the resemblances stop." – Matt said looking at the door, practically not blinking. He turned around towards Josh who remained quiet, thinking of appropriate things to say. He knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't very well say to the congressman that he thinks his wife lost her mind. Instead, he chose diplomacy.

"Well…that was surprising."

"That's an understatement. It was crazy!" – Matt finished his though instead of him. – "We've been trying to involve her more in the political scene for months. And the event dedicated to women in politics was the one thing she wanted to avoid at all cost!"

Josh nodded agreeing on everything Matt said. Mrs. Santos really wanted to stay out of it, and she attended only completely necessary events. This event in the White house wasn't necessary, but it would make a good introduction to this type of world.

"I don't know if I should be relieved or really worried." – Josh muttered.

"Now, now, let's not get too paranoid." – Matt said, but Josh was a skeptic. He always fought some battles with Helen, and if he learned anything from Mrs. Bartlett, that was that politicians wives always have an agenda of their own. But, he wasn't going to say anything to his boss. Because, the other thing he learned was to never get in between a man and his wife. And he knew how defensive he got when Donna was involved. Suddenly, his mind had a trail of its own. He had no right to think of her that way, she wasn't his wife. But, he knew he would fight life battles for her. He did fight life battles for her, and because of her. He shook his head a little trying to get Donna out of his head, but ever since the conference she was all he thought about. He wanted to call her, congratulate her, but he didn't know if she would want that. She did well on her own, and he knew he had no right to interfere with that. But, he wanted to hear her voice, to hear that excitement in her voice, something he hadn't heard in a long time, something he missed. He woke himself up from daydreams and realized that Matt was looking at him expectantly.

"I guess we will see…" – Josh said.

"Exactly! We have a staff meeting in an hour, and I expect Helen to show up as well. We'll see what's going on. Maybe something happened that we weren't informed of yet."

"Nothing happens around here without me knowing it." – Josh muttered under his breath, causing Matt to smile. He was no fan of surprises.

"I'm sure it won't ever happen again, Josh." – he chuckled.

**The White house**

C.J. wondered around the West wing feeling very nostalgic. She was also thinking about today's conference. Even if her days in the Press room were over, she observed every one who followed her. She really meant what she said to Donna today; she really did well. Not a few people could do that good, especially when concerned topic was involved. She was worried that the subject will haunt them. Actually, she thought it will haunt them much before. But, it hasn't. Year after year passed bye and neither of them acted up on their emotions. They were both masters at dealing with bad stuff, but when good stuff were concerned, they gave up. They didn't fight. And now, with all the terrible things that happened, both of they became more careful. Even more; they were terrified of each other. It was a sad thought; two best friends afraid of each other. Thinking about them, C.J. found herself in front of Donna's office. Carol smiled at her former boss, but quickly she realized that C.J. was looking through her.

"C.J.!"

"What! Jesus, Carol! No need to announce my presence to the entire world!" – C.J. tried to catch her breath.

"Sorry, you seem a little distracted."

"I was just thinking about sacrifices this job caused."

"Well, that is a cheery topic. What caused that?" – Carol smiled sadly. She knew that even C.J. kept her harsh appearance; she still cared for everyone who worked with her in the past years.

"Ah…well, you know…" – she shook her head and leaned on Carols' desk. The list was long.

"Actually, I do." – Carol knowingly smiled at her nodding towards Donna's door. C.J. looked up and stared at the closed door for a second before speaking.

"How is she?"

"You know. She's Donna."

C.J. tried to gather some thoughts that were going through her mind.

"Hey, let me ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Do you think we share our part of the blame?"

Carol looked confused. Normally, she knew what C.J. was thinking and how her mind worked. But, honestly now, she had no idea.

"Whose fault? At what?"

The look that C.J. had was best described as frustrated.

"All of this! We're standing at the same place for years. We mess with people's lives, and don't look back." – she paused calming herself a bit, seeing she was drawing attention from the rest of the staff. – "I mean, sometimes I think we lost it! Instead of helping people who are close to us, we mess with their lives. We always looked for the greater good." – she sarcastically emphasized. Carol knew what she meant, but she decided to let her continue.

"But, we rarely succeeded; to keep a secret, I mean. To protect someone. It all bit us in the ass. In the end, none of that matters. We lose if we don't leave anything positive behind. This is a job. JUST a job. We made enemies, but we made friends as well. And the most ridiculous thing is that we though of each other as gods. We underestimated people. We thought they wouldn't recognize true love when they see it. We took something beautiful, that wasn't ours to take and turn it into a shame. And that is why we lost." – she finished quietly, looking at the floor.

"Whoa…Sam would have been proud. Good speech." – Carol smiled. She paused a bit waiting for C.J. to look at her. – "But, you're telling it to the wrong girl."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just that it gets me frustrated."

"Yeah…" – Carol left things hanging in the air. – "But, you know…you can still do your part. Why don't you go inside and talk to her? I think she needs someone."

"She needs Josh." – C.J. was blunt causing Carol to loft her eyebrow. – "Don't look at me like that. We both know that's the truth. Pure truth."

"Well, he's not here. And you're her friend."

"I don't think I have a saying in this. I messed up things between them once…"

"Go inside, C.J. You need this as much as she. And, yes."

"Yes, what?" –C.J. was confused.

"Yes. It was our fault as well."

C.J. simply nodded standing up. She took a deep breath before knocking at Donna's door.

**Santos/McGarry headquarters**

Helen walked around the headquarters trying to avoid her husband and josh. She knew she dropped a bomb telling them that she wanted to attend the event.

"_Hey, that was what they wanted me to do anyway."_ – she thought and smiled. She had her assistant to call the White house and confirm her attendance. She didn't know much about it; only it's going to be in honor of all women in politics. Of course, Helen wouldn't care about that, but she knew Donna was going to be there as well, and she wanted to meet her in person. After all, she was the only woman who left Josh speechless. She glanced at her watch and decided to go back to the meeting room. It was still empty, but passing, she saw Leo getting there first.

"_Well, this is luck. I can thank him for the tapes."_

She entered the room causing Leo to look up.

"Well, I didn't know you were joining us today?" – he asked, but there was a dose of mock in his voice. Annabeth already told him about Mrs. Santos's surprise of the day.

"Yes, I am. And I know you knew I was going to join you." – she chuckled. Leo surprised her once today, but now she was prepared.

"So, I presume you watched the tapes?"

"I did." – now she was the one making Leo wonder.

"And? Did you satisfy your curiosity?"

Helen smiled warmly nodding. The scenes flashed through her mind, and she couldn't help but experience the same wonder like she did when she saw them the first time.

"I did. In a way." – she sighed. – "I still can't believe that was the same person. He actually laughed in some scenes. Ad don't tell Matt, but he has cute dimples."

Leo laughed from heart.  
"That is what most women notice about Josh."

"Well, all I noticed was his arrogance." – she snorted.

"And now?"

"I don't know…there's still a lot to learn."

"Well, from what I've heard you'll have the perfect opportunity for that in a few days. I heard you're going to attend Mrs.Bartlett's event."

"I will. You know, I still don't feel comfortable in those kind of events. Everyone act like it's the easiest thing to do, being the candidate's wife and all, but it's not."

Leo knew from the moment he met Helen Santos, that she's not the regular politicians' wife. In a way, she reminded him of his daughter a little; always wanting to stay out of that scene.

"Well, don't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine. And Joey should be here for the meeting as well. I'm sure she'll attend, so you'll have someone there."

At that time people started to enter the room in a hurry.

"Well, I guess Josh left his office. No other explanation for this kind of behavior." – Helen remarked causing Leo to chuckle. – "What? Oh, sorry, old habit."

"Well, come on, people, we don't have all day:" – Josh exclaimed as he entered the room which caused Helen to look at Leo pointedly, saying: _what did I tell you?_

"OK, what's first!" – Josh looked down at his papers purposely avoiding Helen's look. They took 20 minutes for ordinary things; like press statements, campaign trail, Santos's TV interviews, before Matt decided to refer to the most interesting subject of the day.

"Now, I don't know if you noticed my lovely wife here sitting, pretending like she actually cares what we say around here. But, there's a reason for that."

Helen smiled at her husband with a threatening look. She was a master of facial threats, after all. Josh shuddered at the scene, because that awfully reminded him of him and Donna. He always knew what she was thinking, even if she never said it. He tried to get that image out of his head concentrating on the conversation.

"Well, you also know how we wanted to include her in the campaign, but she refused. That situation is different now. She's going to be attending the Women's event in the White house."

The commotion filled the room and Helen looked around surprisingly.

"_Dear Lord, like he said I was enlisting. "_

"Anyway!" – Matt continued through the noise. – "She will be attending and since it was going to be her first big event I want her to be prepared."

He stopped waiting for a reaction, but the rook stood silent. Josh waved his arms practically yelling.

"Now you can talk!"

The staff he had was good, but sometimes he thought he was working with children. He was used to a very well rehearsed routine and he wasn't used to give simple instructions like: now you can speak.

Helen was the first one.

"Well, I have to say that I'm a little scared. However, I decided that I can't be selfish anymore. This is a serious thing and I have to do my part." – she smiled to her husband, who was still a little confused with this sudden change.

Edie was troubled with the announcement from the beginning. Sure, she just met Mrs. Santos, but she thought of her as a woman of principles. Like someone who wouldn't give up on their points of view. And since her little scam, she was a little paranoid. She didn't want Helen attending that event.

"Excuse me, but why you changed you mind?"

"I thought I just explained myself." – Helen answered.

"You did. It's just…well, I hope you didn't' feel pressured into going. I mean, from the staff."

Josh's eyebrows lifted up. Edie was never a woman who would put principles in front of her own agenda. And the agenda now was to get Matt Santos elected. Helen held Edie's look with hers for a few seconds before answering.

"No one forced me into going. I just realized that Matt deserves my full support. And if that means I have to stand in the cold for two days, I would do that. This event will be a piece of cake." – she smiled at her husband who was obviously touched. She looked over at Josh who was starring at her without shame with a blurry look. – "What?" – but Josh didn't answer.

Matt noticed the change as well and looked over at Leo who simply shrugged.

"Josh, you OK?"

He looked at him and nodded.

"Fine. So, what do we need to do to instruct Mrs. Santos?"

Just than Annabeth walked in smiling from ear to ear. She had a previous meeting so she was a little late, but she was informed of everything.

"You don't need to do anything, unless you suddenly became an expert in wardrobe."

"Ha?" – Josh asked feeing very confused. Like he did most of the time when he spoke with Annabeth. He had problems following her thoughts.

"Well, Josh, I will be attending the event as well, so no need for worries. I will be Helen's guardian angel." – she smiled at Helen who was having trouble keeping a straight face. She really liked Annabeth.

"Well, than it's settled. No worries!" – Matt concluded before turning his attention to more important things. However, Edie wasn't done.

"Excuse me, Congressman, but there's one more thing."

"What is it, Edie?" – Matt sighed.

"Well, we are forgetting how the Press will see this. I mean, we're forgetting Vinick. I mean, he doesn't have a wife, and I'm afraid that maybe the reporters will make this into something else. Like we're pushing Mrs. Santos to the position of the next First lady."

Everyone looked at each other. On one hand, Edie made a good point, however Annabeth dismissed that problem.  
"They can't make this into something that it's not. It wasn't our fault that Mrs.Vinick died. And I got my hands on the guest list. There will be several guests from Vinick campaign as well, including his campaign manager, Sheila." – She proudly said causing Leo to chuckle. – "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. Just you asking for the guest list, that's all. You really like to be prepared."

"Well, it's not like it's a secret or anything. Anyway, Joey is invited also, but she still didn't confirmed. I guess she still doesn't know if she will return in time." – she waved with a piece of paper that obviously contained a list of names. Josh squirmed in his place trying to see the list of names. Without looking, Annabeth handed him a paper.

"Here, don't pull a muscle."

He smiled bitterly, and grabbed a paper. We went through it, seeing it was a typical list. No need for worries. Of course, with one name he had a problem, but he couldn't do anything about it.

"Great. Can we move on please?"

"Yup. Let's move on:" – Matt said and turned his attention to his papers.

When the meeting finished, Helen was the first one out of the room.

"_Now, I would rather stand in the cold for two days, than to go through one of those meetings again."_ – Helen thought rubbing her eyes. Just than she remembered that she wanted to ask Leo something, but when she turned around she found herself face to face with Edie.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Santos."

"Yes, Edie."

"I just wanted to apologize for what I said in there. I never meant to suggest you're not a woman of your principles. I just knew how you were pressured into similar events, and I thought this was one of them."

Normally, Helen would appreciate Edie's concern, but there was something fake about it. She couldn't pinpoint what it was, so she simply smiled.  
"Thank you. But, no need to worry. Now, if you would excuse me, I need to find Leo."

"He's still in the meeting room, I think."

"Thank you." – Helen smiled once again and left. Ronna was watching the interaction from her desk, and she was very surprised with Edie's actions. Somehow, she knew something happened during that phone call with Donna. But, she didn't want to sound paranoid and she didn't want to point any fingers. Edie was, after all, still Josh's deputy. However, one thought bothered her.

"_Why didn't she mention the phone call in the meeting?"_

Helen found Leo sitting in the meeting room going through some papers.  
"Hey, we meet again!" – she smiled and sat next to him.

"I thought you would never enter this room again. You looked like you're going to be sick during the meeting." – Leo chuckled removing his glasses.

"I was getting there. However, I was still looking better than Josh."

Leo agreed nodding. He as well noticed his change during Helen's little speech.

"You know why, don't you?"

Leo took a deep breath before standing up. He gathered his papers and glasses and went to the door, Helen's eyes following him.

"Leo?"

He looked at her and smiled sadly.

"You just pointed out to him what a woman does for a man she loves. See you later."

Leo left the room leaving Helen to think.

**AN –** Anyway, I'm so glad you liked Helen's character. Normally when I write I concentrate on main characters, however, I loved Helen from the beginning, and in "Here today", so I decided to expand her character a bit. Of course, there will be interaction between Josh and Donna soon. Stay tuned!


	8. Emotional discomfort

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

Thanks to:

Kursk – Edie is just digging her own grave. :) don't you worry.

kasluvsg1 – trust me-the interaction will come soon

cabooklover21 – well, thanks! I'm glad you think I did something with the character that is better than in the show.:)

KristyP – Thank you so much! Yeah, I agree, the show is lacking some personal stuff, but I hope they will add some more in future episodes. The tension is unbearable.

Joy – thanks a lot

lady-peaches – glad you liked it! Hope you'll enjoy this

dietcherryemma – don't worry, the event is comming soon

soozy87 – enjoy this chapter as well!

mhcrose311 – I'm so glad you noticed the connection. I loved that episode. It was so sweet! Thanks!

Challah – Glad you like Helen! And I hope you'll like her here as well.

actress43 – I predict for Helen to play an important role with Donna, don't worry.

miss jasadin – Glad you liked it! Promise the Mr.S/Donna interaction in the next chapter.

SARAnNICK4EVA – well, fellow Snickeret, I'm glad you're enjoying this story also!

**Chapter 8 – Emotional discomfort**

**White house**

C.J. waited for Donna to answer before letting herself in. In fact she was just prolonging the moment.

"Come in, Carol" - she heard Donna's voice.

"Hi, it's me." - C.J. poked her head inside.

Donna instinctively started to move papers around her desk, not wanting C.J. to see her face. She wasn't crying, but her face was showing pain and emotional discomfort. The conversation with Eddie really got to her, even more than she was thinking it was possible.

"Yeah, yeah...come in. What can I do for you?"

C.J. sat down trying to look calm. But Donna's face really didn't help with that guilty feeling she had.

"Well, I just came by to see how you were doing. I remember that I threw up after my first conference." - C.J. laughed bitterly. Of course that wasn't the truth, and Donna knew that. That was the first time Donna looked at her since she came in.

"Come on, C.J. We both know that's not true. What's going on?"

"I should probably be the one asking that question. You don't look good."

Donna ran her fingers through her hair, trying to fix her appearance.

"Nothing."

C.J. didn't buy that for a second, but she remembered that Donna had to make a very important phone call. She had to call someone from Santos's campaign, and she was afraid she might have spoken with Josh.

"Did you talk to Josh?" - she asked bluntly causing Donna to roll her eyes.

"Well, although he is usually to blame when I look like hell, this is not that time. I haven't talked to him. Not directly anyway."

"What happened?" - C.J. asked forgetting the reason why she came in there. Her curiosity got the best of her.

"I talked to Josh's deputy. She pointed out to me that no one there cared for what I said today."

"I don't believe that. - C.J. shook her head, but that she caught Donna's serious look. - "She told you that? Well, what kind of politicians are they! This was big news! A new White house secretary thanked their campaign manager for her life and career after he gave her a chance even if she had no experience! That is news if I ever saw  
one!" - C.J. stopped herself seeing how her words were of no help to Donna.

"Thanks for the recap. Well, I guess they have a different policy. It's not important. It's  
even for the better." - she tried to smile but failed miserably.

"Yeah, that much is obvious."

"Look, I don't need to hear another speech how Josh's opinion means too much to me. It's repetitive." - Donna answered back. They already had the same conversation, and se didn't want to hear it again.

"I didn't mean it like that." - she paused looking straight into Donna's eyes trying to make a point. - "Still, I don't believe in that for a second. We both know Josh. That is a man who gets excited and worried about the wrong color of a schedule program."

"Well, I guess things changed." - Donna fired back, but stopped herself, afraid she will say something she might regret later. - "Let's not talk about that. What did you need?"

C.J. wished she never entered Donna's office in he first place, even if she still had the intension to apologize. It was just that this little introduction to their conversation didn't really go very well.

And she knew that nothing would change Donna's mind now about Josh and their relationship. Donna was in a specific state of mind and no matter what she said, it wouldn't' have desired effect. But that didn't mean she was giving up. It simply meant she will have to find another solution. She looked at Donna' eyes and realized she was still waiting for an answer.

"Oh, nothing. I was just talking to Carol and decided to drop by."

Donna nodded even if she was still a little suspicious. It was obvious that C.J. wanted to say something, but changed her mind. However, considering where their conversation was heading she was glad she decided to drop it. It was a stressful day and she just wanted to be alone. Just than she heard a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Carol poked her head trying to see if it was alright for her to enter. Since both of them appeared normal, she figured that C.J. chickened out.

"Here you go. The guest list."

Donna looked perplexed. She took out the binder from her drawer.

"I already have the guest list."

Carol glanced from Donna to C.J. and back to Donna. A simple motion which told C.J. something was going on.

"Yeah, well, there's been a change. We got another RVSP."

Donna shook her head.

"You see, I don't understand why people wait to the last minute to confirm. I mean, it's the White house party, not the trip to the ZOO."

C.J. just snorted.

"Well, not a lot different."

Donna had to smile as she turned her attention back to Carol.

"What's the change?" - she took the paper from Carol's hand.

"Only one change."

"Who?" - C.J. asked seeing how Carol was evasive. But before she had the chance to respond Donna caught the name on the paper.

"Helen Santos."

**Santos's house**

Helen Santos was getting ready for bed thinking about today's events.  
If someone told her when she woke up that morning, that she will spend the day trying to figure out Josh Lyman, she wouldn't believe him. Better yet, she would have him committed.

"Maybe, I should be committed" - she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" - Matt asked coming out of the bathroom.

"Oh, nothing." - she quickly responded. They climbed into the bed together and just as Helen was about to shut the lights, Matt caught her hand.

"So, my dear, care to explain what was that today?"

"I don't know what you mean." - she smiled sweetly. Again, she tried  
to turn off the lights, but Matt stopped her once again.

"I think you do. Now, as mush as I appreciate the affection you showed in the meeting room...by the way, I would stand for you two days in the snow too..:"

"I've never mentioned the snow, just the cold. I would never stand in the snow for you, are you crazy?" - she smirked.

"Nice try, but you're not changing the conversation. Now, as much as I appreciate what you said..."

"I was sweet, wasn't I?" - she smiled again.

"You were full of it." - Matt chuckled.

"Now, that wasn't very nice, Mr. Presidential candidate."

"Why won't you tell me what you're doing?" - he was now whining causing Helen to pat his hand.

"Seriously, Matt, there's nothing important going on. I'm just doing my part."

"Meaning, you're not going to tell me?"

"Exactly."

Matt thought about it and decided to push a few more buttons.

"Well, are you going to tell me why you were watching Inauguration tapes in Leo's office?"

Helen blushed but she didn't put down her guard. Nevertheless, she was sure that no one besides Ronna saw her and she promised her that she will stay quiet. And she was certain she stayed that way.

"Who told you that?"

"Edith Ortega. She asked if something was going on."

Helen's face became more serious. That woman was prying and that much was obvious.

_"And why didn't she go through Josh? She's his deputy..."_ – her thoughts were puzzled. – "Well, honey, trust me, there's nothing going on. Who else knows that  
I've been looking at those tapes?"

She was worried that Josh found out, and she really didn't want him knowing that. Not yet anyway. She only watched one of them, but that was enough to see another face of Josh Lyman. Completely another face. She was afraid if he found out about that, that he will close up; even if she thought that wasn't possible. He was already pushing everyone out.

Matt looked at her observing her face. Her thoughts were reflecting in her eyes, and he decided he won't push any further.

"No one knows but me. And Leo, I guess, considering he gave you those to see. So, was anything interesting on them?"

_"Oh, interesting doesn't even cover it."_ - she thought. She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Not really. Well, I have to get my beauty sleep for tomorrow. Good  
night, honey."

She reached up for the light and shut it down. This time, Matt didn't stop her.

**Santos's headquarters**

Josh was sitting behind his desk not really doing anything productive. Most of his staff already went home, so he stared at some dot on the wall. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice Leo standing on the doorway.

"How you're doing, kid?" – Leo asked causing Josh to look up.

"Leo…what are you still doing here? Everyone went home."

"Everyone, but you." – he paused taking in his rumpled appearance. – "Anyway, I was on my way out, and I saw that your lights are still on. Glad to see your doors are still open."

"Yeah, they are…" – Josh's eyes found that dot again. The door may have been opened, but the people in front of those doors weren't his.

Leo entered the office and sat down, his eyes never leaving Josh.

"So, some day today."

"Yeah…"

Leo found himself in an awkward situation. He tried to reach Josh's eyes, but without luck. He was actually feeling Josh slipping from his life. He sighed, but still no reaction. Finally he decided that open approach was the best."

"Donna really surprised you, hasn't she?"

That seemed to get his attention, but not the one he expected. Josh's eyes showed anger.

"So, you also think I put her down all those years, and that I never gave her a chance, considering that she's that good. I always knew she was good!"

Leo knew the reason Donna left; and that had nothing to do with what Josh was talking about. Sure, she was telling him how he put her down, but he also knew that she doesn't really think that. She was just hurt. She was so close to real love, the one when you know that someone loves you back. And she was just hurt that things stayed the same after Gaza. She wouldn't have thanked him otherwise.

"I didn't mean that she surprised you with the way she handled herself in the Press room. I mean that she surprised you with what she said about you."

Josh felt kind of stupid, but his conversation with Donna played in his mind over and over again. He was hearing how she blamed him for her slow progress in career, and how he wasn't giving her enough chances. That was the main reason her words surprised him. He knew she was good enough to do the job. He didn't have to respond to Leo's question; Leo saw it in his eyes.

"Did you talk to her?"

Josh just shook his head and looked down. His face was like an opened book and Leo decided to read it out loud.

"You wanted to call her, right? Why didn't you?"

"It wouldn't be a good idea. She's busy."

"She's busy? That's your answer?" – Leo raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, she's busy, and she needs to focus on her work. I can't… meddle in that."

Leo snorted feeling his anger rising. He had a lot of opinions about Josh, but he never thought he was a coward.

"And you think she wouldn't take your call because, what, she's busy?" – it was obvious in Leo's voice he wasn't buying it.

"I don't want to find out." – Josh whispered adding all of his emotions in the sentence. He didn't want to hear Carol's voice telling him, how Donna can't come to the phone because she's busy.

Leo watched this man he considered his son, and he felt all of the pain that was coming out of him.

"Personally, I think that's a mistake. That girl deserves to know how proud you are of her. Because, I know you are. I can see it in your face. And to think she wouldn't take your call…well, that's just stupid thinking, Josh. You say that like you didn't hear what she said this morning."

Josh remained quiet and Leo decided it was time to go. But, not before he said one last thing.

"Fine, you don't need to call her. Send her flowers, for God's sake!"

That caused Josh to chuckle. Flowers were never a big conversation theme with him and Donna.

"Seriously, why don't you?" – Leo stood up and picked his things. – "Just think about it. See you in the morning. Well, unless I don't spend the entire morning in make-up, that is."

Josh smiled for the first time that evening nodding to Leo.

"Good night."

Even with Leo gone, his words were still echoing in Josh's head.

"_Flowers…"_ – he though.

He picked up the phone and asked for a number of a florist shop. He quickly dialed it, because he was afraid he will chicken out if he waits too long.

"Yeah, hi! I need to order a bouquet of flowers. Ah, yeah…put some lilies in it. You know what. Just make if very colorful….a note? Ahm, yes." – he thought for a second. "Have it say: "To Donnatella. My life started because of you as well. Congratulations." Yeah, that's it.» He gave them his credit card number and just as he was about to put down the phone he remembered something.

"Wait! Are you still here? ...No, no, the note is fine. However I have another request…yeah, about the place of the delivery. It needs to be a specific desk…Well, just take the paper out, and I will explain it to you."

AN – I know you all expected the big event, but I had to write this first. Hope you like it. LET ME KNOW:)


	9. The event begins

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

* * *

Thanks to:

Caia – yeah, Josh's deputy is really something. 

Kursk – this chapter is supposed to bring things a bit closer. Hope that it did.

KristyP – I agree. Leo needs more screen time.

lady-peaches – well, you're gonna love this chapter than. Sort of a women's strike.:)

kasluvsg1 – thanks for the review. And hope you'll like this. Sorry for the wait.

dietcherryemma – yup, the event started. And it's gonna be a bomb!

Arcana – Thanks. I wanted to show that Josh still has that romantic side in him.

mhcrose311 – thanks a lot! Really, great compliment, but I'm not majoring in English. But, I agree, they really need to bring old Josh back. Especially now when Donna's working with him.

miss jasadin – you're so sweet! And you really should punish me for not updating sooner. However, I'll make to you. Next chapter will be up in a day or so. I PROMISE!

Kala – Enjoy away!

Challah – here's more

Sharon – well, yeah, grammar can be difficult, especially when English is not your basic language, which is my case. :)

JennCorinthos – yes, Edie got a lot of enemies. Don't worry; I'll take care of her later.

actress43 – Hope you enjoyed the chat. There's more to come soon.

Iflytev.Bluedestiny – Don't worry. I plan to finish it.

* * *

**Chapter 9 – The event begins…**

C.J. just put on her dress and looked at the clock. It was still fairly early, and she decided to catch on the news. There was some story about Leo, and decided to give him a call. He was also there for the ride. And she wanted to see what his opinion on the matter was. She dialed his cell phone number and waited.

"Hello."

"Hey, Leo, it's C.J."

"Hi, C.J., nice to hear your voice. But, shouldn't you be at the party right about now?" – Leo asked knowing about the Women event.

"Yeah, I was just going, but I saw your face on the TV, and decided to give you a call.

"Well, that was nice of you. Anything I can do for you?"

C.J. took a deep breath and Leo knew that there was something wrong.

"Well, it's Donna actually."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, ever since that thing she said at the conference, I can't help but to feel guilty."

Leo was confused at the beginning but that she continued.

"I told her once that she needs to live her life without Josh. And now I realize that Josh is her life." – C.J. was very sincere, but simply because she was tired of playing this political game with her friends. Two friends who survived through hell, and who deserved to be happy.

"I see." – Leo softly said, knowing exactly what C.J. meant.

"That's all you have to say? No: _don't worry C.J. you did the right thing_?"

Leo chuckled imagining her face.

"Well, I would've told you that a couple of years ago, but now…well, I just feel the same way you do."

"You do?" – C.J. was surprised. – "Did you talk to Josh?"

"As a matter of fact I did."

C.J. almost fell from her chair. Her grip on the phone increased and she tried to calm her voice.

"You talked to Josh about Donna? What did he say?"

"Well, not much at first. You know Josh. But, that admission from Donna really got to him. He thought she hated him. You know, he actually said that he was too scared to call her, because she might not take his call?"

If it was possible, C.J. felt even worse.

"God, Leo, when did it all get like that? It shouldn't be like that!"

"You're preaching to the choir, C.J. However, I can tell you that I think he send her flowers."

"You're serious?" – C.J. eyes widened.

"Yeah, I planted the bug in his ear, and by the look on his face, I think he actually took my advice. It should probably get there tonight." – Leo smiled hearing C.J. laughter over the phone.

"Leo, that is something! Look, I'm gonna swing by Donna's office before the party to see if she received it."

"OK, talk to you later. Have fun."

C.J. hung up the phone and grabbed her purse. In a few moments she was ready and she walked over to see Donna.

* * *

Carol was sitting behind her desk typing some last minute memo hen she heard C.J. voice.

"Hello, my wonderful friend."

"You're in a good mood. You look good by the way." – Carol stopped typing and looked at C.J.

"Thank you. Now, can you tell me if your boss received some flowers today? Perhaps from a certain campaign manager?" – C.J. quietly asked.

"Josh?" – Carol whispered back. – "No. Why? Did he send her flowers?"

"Well, Leo thinks so. Do me a favor. If a delivery comes this evening go downstairs and get Donna. Don't wait until after the party.

"You got it." – Carol winked with a smile. She got from C.J. face that something good was going on and she wanted to be in it.

"Great, well, I'm going in."

* * *

Donna was sitting behind her desk going through some papers. The night has fallen and most of the staff has already left. It was not unusual for her to be sitting in her office in the gown working. She didn't think twice of it.

"You know, you won't turn into a pumpkin at midnight if you go to the ball." – Donna heard C.J's voice from the door. She smiled as she looked up from her papers.

"Just finishing up. Can you wait a minute and we'll go together?"

"Sure." – C.J. entered and with some difficulties sat down. – "And people think we're standing at parties because we like to mingle."

Donna smirked and went behind her desk to pick up her shoes.

"You look good, by the way." – Donna smiled at her.

"Thanks. But, it's possible that you'll be the only one to see, cause I don't know if I'm gonna be able to stand back up. You look good also, by the way. New dress?"

"Yeah, I decided it's a good occasion to splurge a bit." – Donna was looking at herself in the mirror. Her dress was a long one in a beautiful shade of red and it fit Donna's body like a glove. However, when her eyes reached her feet she smirked.

"Well, the ensemble is not quite ready." – she wasn't wearing her shoes. – "I didn't want to put them on until the last minute."

"Smart woman. Unfortunately, I can't walk around here in my underwear."

"Well, you could, but I think you would be getting a new secret service name." – Donna laughed at the thought.

"Yeah, something like: _naked chick_."

Donna closed the drawer and glanced over her desk. She was always a perfectionist and C.J. couldn't help herself not to feel sad again. It was good to see Donna behind this desk, but her happiness wasn't coming through her eyes. She was back at the White house, but her heart wasn't. C.J. knew better than to comment that out loud so she just smiled at the young woman.

"Ready?"

"Yeah." – Donna sighed before turning off the lights. She slipped her shoes on and got up. She looked over at C.J. who still wasn't moving from her place.

"Need help"?

"I would highly appreciate it." – C.J. seriously replied causing Donna to chuckle.

* * *

At the same time, in front of the White house, Helen Santos was getting out of the car with Annabeth in tow. She immediately linked their arms together smiling at Helen.

"Nervous?"

"A little. I'm not sure how people will react to me."

"Oh, they will love you. Don't worry. Come on!" – she guided them towards the entrance, and while Annabeth was saying hello to some people, Helen was absorbing everything in. She was obviously impressed and she wasn't even in the ballroom yet. She tried to connect names with faces and she was surprised to see how many she managed to recognize. Unfortunately, the one she wanted to see wasn't there yet.

"_Well, the evening is still young. I'm sure I'll have the opportunity to meat the famous Mr.Moss. Now, it's time to paste a smile to my face."_ – she thought to herself.

Annabeth introduced her to some women whose names she instantly forgot. The both of them have walked towards the main room and Helen felt like she was entering some strange world; the world of ball gowns, fancy tablecloths and high heels.

"Oh, Lordy!" – she muttered and increased the pressure on Annabeth's arm. As time passed bye, she was feeling more relaxed. Of course, two glasses of champagne helped as well.

After a few excruciatingly boring conversations she had with someone she couldn't remember, she decided to find the darkest corner of the room for a second. To at least recharge her batteries. The night barely started and she was feeling like she was walking around the block for an hour. People were still entering, but somehow the room hasn't appeared smaller. Suddenly her eyes found the face of C.J. Cregg and she arched her back a little to see who walked in with her. As the crowd parted, she saw that Donna was standing next to C.J.

"_Well, well, the evening just got more interesting."_ – the thought crossed her mind. Slowly, she took a step further trying to get a better look at Donna. Just than Annabeth grabbed her arm.

"Having fun?"

"Yeah, a blast." – she sarcastically remarked still looking at Donna. The motion that Annabeth noticed.

"They're quite something, aren't they? I mean, C.J. started as a Press secretary and worked herself to the position of the Chief of staff. And she's just as strong in that position as she was while handling the press. And let me tell you, that's not easy." – she chuckled and than her eyes moved to Donna. Her look got warmer and she smiled.

"And, Donna didn't even finish college. However while working side by side with these great people she has became a great political mind."

Helen watched Donna's face and tried to figure out what was different about her.

"_She looks older than on those tapes, and more tired."_

She decided to share her opinion with Annabeth. It was obvious she didn't have a problem with speaking about Donna.

"She looks kind of tired. Well, that's understandable, I guess. She has more responsibility."

Annabeth grabbed the bait making Helen smile.

"I don't think that's it. When I was here, I heard a lot of stories about Donna. There were times when she stayed here for days and only went home to change clothes. However, she hasn't looked this tired. Well, now that I think of it; she looks more sad than tired.

Helen nodded taking that information in. The more she heard about Josh and Donna she found the relationship very intense, with lot of feelings still not straightened out. She realized Annabeth asked her something and she shyly smiled.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked if you wanted to meet them."

"Sure." – she shortly replied thinking how that was the thing she wanted from the beginning.

Both of them approached C.J. and Donna and Annabeth put on her greatest smile.

"Girl! Nice gathering!"

"Annabeth, nice to see you. I was thinking you'd be too busy playing dress up with Leo." – C.J. laughed giving Annabeth a little kiss on the cheek.

"Why I am not surprised that he complained to you also. I swear to God, than man needs to relax a bit." – she turned to Donna. – "Donna. You look really nice. Congratulations, dear. You deserved a promotion!"

"Thanks, Annabeth." – Donna also kissed her cheek and that turned her attention to Helen.

Annabeth linked her arm with Helen's and made the introduction.

"Ladies, meet Helen Santos. She really didn't want to come tonight, so be nice to her. She finds all of this intimidating."

Helen rolled her eyes with a smile and shook both of theirs hands, holding Donna's look a bit longer than necessary.

"Nice to meet you, Helen. Don't worry, this crowd isn't as intimidating as it appears." – C.J. said.

"Oh, I know that. It's just that I REALLY hate these kinds of things. I'm a mom, you know. I'm used to children's parties where you don't have to worry about the kind of clothes you wear, because you'll be throwing it away at the end anyway."

"You'll get used to it. Trust me." – Donna warmly smiled. She liked Helen. She belonged to the real world, and she liked that.

"I'm sure I will. God knows the people who run my husband's campaign will make sure of that."

The remark caused Donna to shift from leg to leg hoping that the conversation will not take the wrong turn. However, C.J. decided to jump to the conversation about Santos's staff. Something in her brain told her that this can be a good thing.

"Oh, I'm sure that Josh pushes them to the maximum." – as she said the sentence, Donna's head turned towards her. But, C.J. hasn't even blinked. She simply waited for Helen's response.

Helen, on the other hand felt C.J. look on her, and she felt the vibe coming from her. "Josh pushes everyone around, even my husband. I'm telling you, by the end of the campaign, the guy will make more enemies than all the staff together." – Helen didn't need to look at Donna to see the disapproving look on her face. It was obvious that she didn't like the fact that Helen just insulted Josh.

C.J. simply chuckled, not missing a beat.

"Yeah, no one knows how to make enemies like Josh. Seriously, he made an art out of it."

"C.J.!" – Donna exclaimed.

"What?" – C.J. innocently asked.

"Well, nothing, but come on. Josh is your friend."

"He is, but you should know the best how Josh is with people. How many flowers did you need to send to people apologizing for Josh? I don't understand how can you be mad at me?"

"You just need to get Josh." – a voice was heard from behind and Donna gulped. – "Right Donna?"

She turned around meeting with the one woman she wanted to avoid the entire evening.

"Amy." – she nodded.

* * *

A/N – OK, I REALLY need to apologize to everyone. I know it's repetitive, but I was SOOOO busy. Well, actually still am for a week, but I managed to find some time this weekend. So, here's a new chapter. And the next one is half done, so expect that in a few days

But, before that, let me know what you think of this one!


	10. I was wrong

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

* * *

Thanks to:

Kursk – well, I decided to leave Amy. She managed to mess with people's lives enough. So, this chapter has a purpose of cooking things up. Hope this was soon enough.

Mhcrose311 – was this a good ending as well? Enough suspense for you?

Challah – thank you

Kasluvsg1 – hope you weren't too eager. I was faster this time, though.

Rachbigbro – Yeah, I don't like that much either, so I didn't gave her much space here.

Dietcherryemma – Well, Amy certainly has a good timing. And the awkwardness is hopefully here.

Cabooklover21 – If you liked that end, I wonder what you think of this one.

Tvaddict687 – well, see for yourself. I hope you liked the way I decided to take.

Soozy87 – I think the fact she will never be close to josh like Donna is a enough punishment for Amy. But, I agree, a punch in the face would be nice to see. :)

Miss jasadin – I was quick! Since, Amy already had her share of conversations with Donna, I wanted to bring in the change, and try to make a conversation where she can complain to someone else about Donna. And she can't hide her face long.

JennCorinthos – Yeah, Amy is a b…. However, I didn't want Donna to feel sad all the time. I wanted to show how her emotions can make her cloud her judgments.

Mudpie7386 – thanks a lot!

Rena – Yeah, I think there should me more moments like that. With strong women discussing things (and it's not gossiping:))

Joybean – don't worry, I'm planning on finishing this story. I was just really busy.

* * *

**Chapter 10 – I was wrong…**

Helen noticed the tension; however she was more interested in Amy's comment.

Amy looked at her and smiled.

"Amy Gardner."

"Helen Santos." – Helen return the smile with courtesy, but she could see that Amy's smile was fake.

"Nice to meet you, Helen. I worked with your husband for a while, actually. Can I possibly talk to you for a second? In private? – Amy asked pointing to the other side of the room.

Helen nodded knowing Amy's reputation. Matt told her a lot about her, and she was a person who wasn't going to give up when she wanted something. So she excused herself and followed Amy to the other side.

"So, listen, Helen. I have to say I'm very impressed with your husband. However in my opinion you're not very propounded in the press. And I think your role could be much bigger. You can make a big influence. And I can help you make it." – Amy got to the point quickly.

"Well, Amy, I appreciate it. But, you must know that I didn't even want Matt to run for President. I have no political ambitions. Sorry." – Helen sounded very sure of what she was saying and Amy knew that she can't do anything now. But, she made a plan to try again if Santos becomes the next President.

"OK, than. Thanks for your time." – she wanted to excuse herself, but Helen stopped her. Since she had the opportunity to ask a few questions, she decided to grab it.

"Listen, Amy. I was curious. What did your remark mean? About getting to know Josh?"

Amy bitterly smiled.

"Oh, I was just rubbing it in. Donna said that to me once. "You just need to get Josh:"" – she quoted her.

"Really?"

"Yes. You see, she finds herself the expert on the Josh subject."

"Well, she was his assistant." – Helen faked her naiveté.

"That she was. In more way than the other." – Amy sarcastically added.

"Are you implying there was something between them?"

"No, there wasn't. I mean nothing official. You see, even when we dated, Donna was always there. And she's the only one who can explain and understand Josh Lyman's actions. Or as she put if: she gets him." – Amy concluded and it was obvious she was done talking about that subject. And Helen decided to drop it. She already found out everything she needed anyway.

"I see. Well, see you later, Amy."

Helen walked back to her group thinking about what Amy said. Besides bitterness, she managed to get another perspective on the relationship between Josh and Donna.

"Sorry for that." – she apologized seeing that Donna was still upset from Amy's remark. – "She wanted to give herself a job."

"That little snake." – C.J. muttered. – "You know, I'll never understand how Josh managed to date her. Twice."

Donna winced at the comment remembering the second time they got together. She also couldn't believe how he could go to her again. It seemed how her whole day was filled with memories regarding Josh. Not that she hasn't thought about him every day. But she never talked about him that much. It was hard for her, and she wanted to stop it.

"Well, that was all a long time ago. I'm sure Helen doesn't want to be bored with stories regarding Josh."

Helen took that as her cue.

"Well, to tell you the truth. I didn't know anything about Josh until recently. Even if he's my husbands #1 man. And by recently I mean, yesterday. That man is more secretive than anyone I know."

"So, happened yesterday?" – C.J. asked innocently avoiding Donna's look.

"Well, Leo McGarry talked about him a lot. And…" – she decided this was a good time to say something conclusive. – "I was one of the many people in his office when you, Donna, made your first conference. Great job, by the way."

That got Donna's attention.

"One of the many?" – she sounded surprised. From what she has heard, no one at the campaign cared about her statement.

"Well, yes. The office was full. And let me tell you, I've never seen Josh so quiet in all the time I've known him." – Helen chuckled.

"I can just imagine." – C.J. quietly said turning her head towards Donna. She knew there was no way that Donna's statement went unnoticed. However, the reason why someone tried to cover it was unreasonable.

Donna's mind was racing and she had the impression that everyone can hear her thoughts.

"Something the matter?" – Helen asked.

"No, no. Just…when I called I got the impression no one saw the press release. I mean no one from the top."

"Who gave you that impression? If I recall, there was a big discussion right after the conference in Josh's office, involving Josh, Leo, Matt and a whole other bunch of people."

"There was?" – Donna's voice cracked at the end.

"Well, of course there was!" – C.J. couldn't take it anymore. She was a master political mind and she had her share of press issues to resolve. And they were much more serious than this one. However, the other thing she learned was that you never know when something will turn into a big disaster. Main rule is: Every thing is a potential threat to the administration.

She was barely keeping herself of saying: I told you so. Instead, she just leaned and whispered into Donna's ear:

"Donna Moss. You left Josh Lyman speechless."

However, her whisper reached Helen's ear and she just smiled, a motion not missed by Annabeth.

Before Donna had the chance to respond, Carol approached the group. Donna was thankful, because she was the one who was left speechless now.

"Excuse me ladies. Donna, there was something delivered for you." – she exchanged a look with C.J. but other than that she was subtle.

"Well, I'll check it after the party. Leave it on my desk."

"Yeah, you see, there's a problem with that." – Carol chuckled and looked at Donna with the face she wore when she didn't want to deliver the bad news.

"Why's that?"

"The delivery is on your old desk."

Donna was confused as she waited for Carol to continue. However, she really had no other explanations.  
"You know, it's best you go and check it out." – C.J. jumped in.

"Yeah, it must be a mistake. They probably got the old information about my position."

"You know." – Annabeth chipped in. – "If you're going there, maybe you can give Helen a little tour. I'm sure she would like that."

Helen and Annabeth exchanged smiled.

"I would actually love that. I need to stretch my legs a bit. And this crowd is getting too much for me. No offence, ladies."

"None taken." – C.J. smirked. Her intuition told her that the woman in front of her had the secret agenda. And somehow, she knew it was similar to hers. – "And, you should take Helen along. She can see for herself that there's nothing glamorous back there."

"Well, let's go than. We'll be back soon."

"No hurry." – C.J. said watching the two of them leave.

"C.J. Cregg, you little fox. You tell me right now what's going on! – Annabeth nudged her in the ribs.

* * *

Donna walked through the halls of the West wing with Helen in tow. They were walking slowly as Helen absorbed this world that appeared to be more normal than that ballroom.

"So, tell me Donna, are you happy to be back in the White house?" – she asked.

"Yeah, I am. I feel like back at home." – Donna smiled.

"Well, why did you leave than to work for Russell?" – Helen noticed the little pause in Donna's walk.

"Ahm…well. It was a good opportunity for me. To try working on my own, with more responsibilities." – she really didn't want to get into that subject with Helen. Especially, as she was approaching her old desk and the office she knew by heart.

"I see." – Helen simply responded, seeing the painful expression on Donna's face.

As they stepped into the right cubicle, where Donna's old desk was, both of them stood in their tracks. On Donna's desk there was the biggest bouquet she has ever seen. Her breathing became more rapid, as she stared at the colorful flowers.

"Oh my God…this is so beautiful…" – Helen whispered as she looked at the bouquet. She looked over at Donna and was very surprised to see the angry look on her face. – "Donna?"

"That bastard."

"Excuse me?" – Helen raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Helen. It's just that I know who send this. And I know how they ended up here on this desk."

"Well, I don't want to pry, but what's going on?" – Helen gently asked, but her mind was saying: _like hell I don't want to pry_.

Donna took a deep breath not taking her look from the flowers.

"This is just his attempt on letting me know just where I belong. Behind the assistants' desk." – she bitterly chuckled in the end praying to herself that she won't cry.

"His?" – Helen knew exactly who the man in question was, but she really didn't understand what Donna was saying. All she saw was a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a note. And she noticed that Donna hasn't even taken it.

"Yeah, his. Josh's. This is his attempt of letting me know that this is my place."

"Donna, I don't think that Josh would do that." – sure she had a negative opinion about Josh, and if she wasn't in the room when Donna was on TV, maybe she would believe that.

"I'm sorry. Haven't you met Josh? This is exactly what he would do!" – she angrily said raising his hands in frustration.

Helen watched the woman in front of her, and tried to think what she could say. Suddenly, she remembered the conversation she had not that long ago.

"You know, when Amy Gardner took me aside, she explained what she meant with that remark."

Donna's eyes widened in fear and she quickly looked down. But, Helen continued to talk.

"She said that you're the only one who gets Josh. That is the reason why I don't understand why you think he would do that to you?"

"Hey, what's going on here? I had to escape from Annabeth. What are you doing?" – C.J. asked with a smile, not noticing Donna's expression. But, she noticed the flowers on her desk and her smile got bigger. – _"He actually did it…"_

"Nice flowers. Who sent them?" – she asked innocently.

Donna remained quiet avoiding C.J.'s look. If she wanted one thing, that was to avoid discussing Josh Lyman with C.J. Those conversations never ended well.

"Josh sent them." – Helen replied instead of Donna.

"Josh? Really? Well, that's nice of him? What does the card…?" – she leaned forward to take the card, but Donna stopped her.

"Nice? Don't you see what he's doing?"

"Hmm…no?"

"He's putting me down again. This wasn't an accident. He wanted to send these flowers here, on my old desk. It's his way of showing me where I belong!"

Now it was C.J.'s turn to look surprised.

"Come on, Donna! You don't believe that. Josh wouldn't do that."

Donna snorted shaking her head.

"I don't believe this…you of all people! Why are _you_ defending him?"

C.J. looked embarrassed. She knew that her change in behavior won't go unnoticed. The only thing she didn't know was how to explain to Donna what she thinks now of the situation.

"I'm not defending him." – she sighed. – "Look, I know how you and I never saw eye to eye regarding Josh. I was telling you how you need to be more independent. And how you shouldn't allow Josh to let you feel guilty for having a life on your own." – she stopped for a second taking her time to look at Donna. She wanted to be sure her words were getting to her.

"I was wrong."

"What?" – Donna asked surprisingly.

"Donna, you and Josh share a connection. The kind of connection I didn't understand. The kind of connection which involves you standing in front of the operation room, or he flying to Germany without any change of clothes. I was more worried about the administration than my friends. We all were. I'm sorry for saying all those things to you."

Donna looked down trying to figure out what exactly was going on. What was C.J saying? She didn't dare to let her thought go to the dangerous territory.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Thank you, though." – her voice was cold but her eyes were showing pain and sadness. None of the woman noticed Helen approaching the desk and taking the card. The surprise overtook her and she wasn't able to hide it.  
"Oh, my…"

"What?" – Donna turned around.

"I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to appear so nosey."

Donna now noticed the card and the gulped. She stared at it, as Helen offered her the card. She took it and brought it closer to her eyes. As she was reading it, she couldn't help herself anymore. Her eyes were flooded with tears and she was afraid to blink. She simply walked away towards the office and closed the door.

C.J. and Helen watched her the entire time, but neither of them tried to stop her.

"Whose office is that?" – Helen asked quietly.

"It used to be Josh's office." – she turned her look towards Helen. – "What did the card say?"

"_My life started because of you as well."_ – Helen quoted watching C.J. reaction. She wasn't surprised to see a simple nod.

"I'm calling Josh. Sorry, Helen, do you think you can find your way back?"

"No problem. I'll find Annabeth. Actually, I should be going anyway. I want to say goodnight to my kids."

"OK. And, I'm sorry for all this."  
"Don't worry about it. I understand." – she smiled. – "And do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Make them understand. I don't think I can stand to see Josh's bitter face anymore. And I think my husband and his staff will appreciate it also. "

C.J. understood what Helen meant and she just nodded.

"I'll do my best."

With that she went to her office to make the phone call she was dreading of.

* * *

A/N – See, you didn't have to wait for a month for a new chapter:)

However, I want to hear what you think. The story is wrapping up slowly, so I want to see if this is going well.


	11. Strengh and much more

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Donna starts working for the White house as the Press secretary. She had no idea that her first statement will have to be about her getting a job without proper education. She tells them a story. And Josh watches…lousy summary, just give it a chance.

* * *

Thanks to:

cabooklover21 – thanks so much. Glad you liked Helen.

JennCorinthos – Here's the sequel. Sorry for the long wait. Hope it was worth it.

Caia – Yeah, I know...it WAS a long wait. Enjoy this!

Kursk – Hope you won't be disappointed. A/N in the end will explain things, though.

Rachbigbro – yeah...I wanted the note to be sweet and short. Glad you liked it.

JoyBean – Reconciliation? Well, read on...!

soozy87 – hope you will like this also

iceicekatie – you started it, and I hope you will finish it, also:D Let me know what you think!

Psychic Philosopher – I know the wait was long, but I hope it was worth it. And I hope you didn't give up completely.

* * *

**Chapter 11 – Strength and much more**

C.J. rushed through the hallways to get to her office. Sure, there was a phone on every desk, but she needed privacy. And truthfully she needed time. Time to figure out what exactly will she say to Josh. Finally, she decided that every time she had planned something, things went the straight to her head.

"_Not anymore. This will be the end of it."_ – she thought as she closed the door behind her. Her look fell on the phone and she gulped. Slowly, she sat behind the desk assuring herself how she is doing the right thing.

She dialled Josh's phone number while playing with the cord. Just as she was about to hang up, he answered.

"Josh Lyman." – it was obvious that he wasn't near his cell phone.

"Hey, it's C.J." – she smiled at the sound of his voice.

"Hey, what's up? Shouldn't you be partying like it's 1999?" – there was a certain sound of caution in his voice. It was late and C.J. was in the White house – combination not equalling good.

"Well, my outfit was killing me, so I came to rest a bit. Listen…" – she cut to the chase. – "…I need to tell you something."

"You were already telling me how your outfit was killing you. Thanks for the info, by the way." – Josh joked around.

"Shut up and listen." – she was impatient. She shook her head and leaned back on the chair, her hand still playing with the cord. – "Nice flowers, by the way."

She quietly said noticing the silence on the other side. – "Really. You did great."

"She got them?" – it was all Josh managed to get out. Even if C.J. was telling him that he did great, there was something in her voice that as telling him how something is wrong.

"Yes, she did. And just on the safe note, she wasn't alone when she saw them. Helen was with her, and I came soon after…"

"Look, why are you telling me this?" – Josh stopped her getting more impatient by the minute.

"Yeah, you see, even if I know that you meant well, your action wasn't received like you though it would be." – she left things hanging in the air hoping that Josh will understand.

"Meaning?"

"Donna is kind of pissed off at you. Actually, she was pissed off at you when she saw the flowers on her old desk…"

"I didn't…"

"NOW, I know what you have meant. – she interrupted his objection. – "But, Donna thought you were putting her down."

She stopped thinking if she should leave things at that and let Josh resolve thngs on his own. But, hearing the sadness in his voice she changed her mind.

"I don't believe this. I didn't mean…C.J. you know I didn't mean…"

"Look, to tell you the truth, I don't know how she's feeling now. You see, she didn't see the note then, but after she did…she took it with her and locked herself in your old office." – the rest of the statement she said very quickly.

"Have you…ahm…had you read it?" – he asked with hesitation.

"Yes, I did." – she paused trying to figure out if she should mention Helen as well. She decided against it as she waited for a response from Josh.

"And what? No comment from you? I would imagine that you will say I need to let Donna be."

C.J.'s look became more sad in an instance. Is that really what years of meddling brought?

"You need to get over here, Josh. That is what you need to do." – she quietly said causing Josh to stiff.

"What?" – he was confused.

"Look, you deserve an apology, but not over the phone, and not now. Now you just need to…just come here." – she hang up and leaned back.

"_Oh, God, what an evening this is…"_

She got up and went to see if the door to Josh's old office were still closed. Seeing they were she sighed. Carol approached her with the smile but the smile disappeared when she saw the look on C.J.s face.

""What's wrong? Don't tell me the plan didn't go well?"

"Well, see…" – C.J.'s vice drifted towards the end. – "Come one, there's nothing we can do anymore."

Both of the women went back to the ball leaving the West wing as quiet as it was before. Like nothing has ever happened.

Josh still held the phone thinking about the phone call.

"_You need to get here…"_ – C.J.'s words echoed in Josh's head.

In a flash he stood up and grabbed his coat from the hanger. He acted on impulse as he hurried down the stairs and hailed the cab. He acted on impulse as he told the driver the familiar address: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Suddenly he felt warm, a strange feeling overwhelmed him. It wasn't the feeling he had when he was creaming his opponents. He thought about the time he had that feeling. He realized he only had the feeling a couple of times: when he listened to Jed Bartlett speak for the first time, when jed Bartlett won, when he declared he will run for the second term…when he heard about the bombing in Gaza, when he was on that plane reading Donna's e-mails, when he came to the office and realized Donna quit…suddenly a big thought rushed through him: Donna was the cause of his emotional disturbance. She was the cause why his already hurt heart beat a little faster. And she could be the cause why his heart could die. Not literally, but this night can be the end of him. The end of his, and everyone else's idea about _Josh and Donna_. True Josh Lyman was already slipping away and he tried to figure out why he can't make a difference between the relationship he once had with Donna and the one he has now. Things have changed, that he knew, but he never stopped thinking about Donna as the woman of his life. She said it correctly in that press room: her life has started because of him, but he knew that that's nothing compared to what she had done with his life. He was already a defined man when he had met her, but she managed to change him, to better.

He didn't know how long has passed, but he heard the driver telling him that they have arrived.

He paid him and without a word he got out. He has walked through that door a thousand times, but he never felt that nervous.

The guards at the door recognized him, but he wasn't surprised when he heard one say:

"Go right ahead, Mr. Lyman."

"_C.J. must've informed them I was coming."_ – he thought.

His legs felt heavier to him, but nevertheless he continued his walk through the hallways. Everything was deserted and he was glad for that. He just wasn't prepared to talk to people. He had an agenda, and no one was supposed to meddle in that.

The familiar room appeared in front of him; desks, bookcases, doors…however his eyes remained focused on only one door.

He blinked a couple of times trying to gain his focus. Everything was grey and black except for one thing that was calling for his attention. He looked and saw a big bouquet of flowers sitting on Donna's old desk.

"_They really did a great job."_ – he though. – _"OK, this is it."_

He was now standing in front of the closed door, his hand touching the frame. Gently he knocked.

"There's no one here. Go away!" – he heard Donna's muffled voice. He could also hear that she was crying, and his own voice disappeared. He wanted to say something, but couldn't. Instead, he knocked on the door again.

"Look, C.J. Just go away!"

He knocked again. No words.

"I don't believe this…" Donna muttered. Josh heard her footsteps and with each step his heart tightened. The door flew open and he was welcomed with the sight of Donna's stained face. Neither of them said anything for a while. She wasn't trying to hide her tears and he wasn't trying to hide his sorrow, because he knew he was the reason why she cried.

"You're crying." – he whispered reaching for her face. More than anything he wanted to wipe away her tears. But as soon as his hand was near she flinched and backed away.

"What are you doing here?" – she asked going back to the office and picking up tissues she dropped on the floor.

"I…I needed to see you. Talk to you. I see you received my flowers…" – he noticed the card on the desk. – "And I see you received the note as well."

She looked away fighting with her emotions. There were a lot of times when Josh Lyman let her in, but there were more times when he drove her away. She wasn't sure which case this was and that scared her the most.

"Donna…?" – he tried to get her attention.

"Yes?"

"Did you head what I said?"

"Yes. I received it, Josh. Why are you here anyway?"

The question confused him. Why was he there…?

"I'm…ahmm…"

"Le me guess." – she interrupted him. – "You heard my statement, you are confused, and you don't know what to do."

"That about summarize it." – he muttered.

"I've heard it before." – she looked directly at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Remember Gaza, Josh? You flew there, you were confused and than you avoided me. Can we just skip that part and you just go?" – her voice broke at the end and again she looked away.

"No." – he simply said as he approached her from behind.

"Please, Josh. You don't know how I feel! I opened myself in that press room…" – she ranted but stopped when she felt Josh's hand of her bare shoulder. A simple motion made their pulses quicken.

"You did great, Donna. I was so proud of you. But you need to stop this. Look at me." – she obliged but was feeling very small.

"I love you." – he whispered his voice trembling while he was reaching for Donna's hands.

He needed to gather his strength, and Donna was always his. He needed his strength now.

He tried to read her eyes, but he couldn't. He wasn't sure what he was seeing.

"Shut up, Josh. Please, shut up." – she said but hasn't moved away.

She was letting him to use her strength even if she was feeling very weak herself.

"No, I won't shut up."

"What a surprise…" – she looked away, but obviously that wasn't enough to stop him.

"I've been quiet for years. I was mad for years. I was without you for a year and that time was the worst period of my life."

"What do you want from me? – she asked increasing the grip on his hands.

"I don't want anything from you, Donna." – he let his finger caress her hand. – "I just want you."

Her eyes widened as she began to wonder if she was dreaming, or maybe seeing or hearing things. Was this really Josh Lyman telling her that he loves her, that he wants her.

"Josh…how can this work?"

"It will work, Donna. It has to. I don't want to be without you. I am not myself without you." – he felt her eyes change.

"Josh if this is about work…I can't work for you…"

"No, no." – he stopped her. – "It's not about work . I said that in the wrong way. I need you in my life. All of you."

"God, Josh, are you listening to yourself…?" – she wanted to believe him, but she was too scared.

"Donny, I need you." – he almost begged. – "Look, can you at least tell me if you have any feeling for me. If you don't, I'll leave. And if you do…" – he glanced towards her lips, motion that caused Donna to lick her lips.

"Than what?2 – now she was the one who almost begged, also looking at his lips.

"Than I'm going to kiss you." – he simply said with a shrug. His cheeks turned red and he was feeling like a little boy.

"Josh…" – she started, but was interrupted by the sound of Josh's phone ringing. The moment was broken, but Josh refused to let it go.

"Just ignore it."

"Josh, it's almost midnight. It's probably important. Answer it."

He nodded knowing she was right.

"Lyman…Yes, Congressman. What's going on?" – Donna watched his face change into a painful expression. He sat on the couch and buried his head in his hands still listening to Matt, only interrupting to ask simple questions: when, how…

Donna was beyond worried and she kneeled in front of him. He felt her hand on his knee and he looked at her. They fingers intertwined as Donna was watching Josh's every move.

"I'll be right there." – he whispered and closed his phone. His other hand found hers and once again he was holding his strength.

"Josh, you're scaring me." – she begged for answer.

"Leo is dead, Donna. He had another heart attack." – he managed to choke out squeezing her hands even more.

"What?" – her eyes began to tear as well as she pulled herself up from the floor and sat next to him.

"I just saw him a few hours back. He looked fine. He was telling me…to call you. Not to let you go. He knew me better than anyone, and he knew you. He was telling me that you wouldn't reject me. He was the reason why I sent you flowers, Donna…" – he felt her tears falling on their intertwined hands.

"He did know us." – she said through her tears.

"I knew what he was telling me…he lost his wife, and he was sorry that he let his work get in the way of his personal life."

"Josh, this is not going to happen." – she said causing him too look directly into her eyes. – "You're not going through this alone."

"Donna…?"

"You have me. Always have. I love and need you too, Josh."

He heard the only words he wanted to hear…her words were trying to heal the pain he had because he lost his friend and the man who was a second father to him.

Why can't he be happy? It was like his life was a mixture of bad and good things; one always came after another.

"I can't ask you to come with me…you'll be getting a phone call also." – he started to get up not wanting to let her go, but knew he had to.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. I promise. Josh, are you going to be OK?" – she was worried for him.

He tried to smile, but failed.

"No, I'm not. But, I will be. I have you, don't I?"

"Yes, you do."

He nodded and opened the door. He was torn. He knew he had to leave, but he needed his strength…

"I said I was going to kiss you, fi you had emotions for me. I don't know what to do…"

She gave him a small smile and stepped closer. She leaned forward and gave him a small kiss on the lips. It was exactly how he imagined, it was perfect.

"I love you." – she whispered caressing his face.

"I love you, too. I'll call you as soon as I get there. Not work related."

"I'll walk you out. I have to find C.J. as well."

They have walked through the deserted hallways, both feeling how the silence was appropriate. They stopped in front of C.J.'s doors and the same thought went to both their minds…Leo's old office.

The door suddenly flew opened and there was C.J. holding a cell phone in her hand. Her eyes were teary and it was obvious she has received the news.

"I'm going. You stay here with her." – Josh whispered and took off. He owed to Leo to get back to the office. He took his advice though; he wasn't going to let work get into his personal life. He had Donna now, because of him. Because he was a friend and a father to him. Before he reached the end of the hallway, he turned around to see Donna giving C.J. a hug. She was someone else's strength now, and he promised himself at that moment that he will be hers as well. She deserves that. That and much more…

* * *

A/N – I am REALLY sorry for the long wait. I was really trying to think how to end this…another idea was going through my head, but the death of John Spencer made a huge impact on my decision.

I wanted to include how the show will lose a great character. I know some of you were looking forward to Edie bashing, but I decided to skip that.

It's a bit sad ending, but it seems appropriate. The west wing brought us also happy and sad moments.

Anyway, let me know what you think!


End file.
